Twos symbolize formation, balance, partnership, polarity and the coming together of opposites.  Twos can indicate that the focus can no longer be only on oneself; that there is another factor influencing the situation.  They represent the affirmation and confirmation of new directions that were begun at the Ace level.  Wands are usually associated with the element of fire, inspiration, energy, passion, feeling, enterprise, ambition, matters pertaining to the "spark of life". 

"Claiming and validating yourself; saying "yes" to a new role that you've definitely decided to play perhaps after comparing and contrasting it with other possibilities; naming the new identity and claiming it for your own." - Gail Fairfield

Renee:  Some opposition has arisen to challenge your plans or actions, and now decisions, modifications, and accommodations have to be made.  Set up challenges that can help you set goals, define issues and work out creative compromises.  Find a way to achieve a more creative balance in the nature of your work and other activities.  The 2 of Wands may be applied to situations where you have to collaborate with people, or where certain types of problems have arisen.  This card favors business partnerships.  Be flexible enough to receive input from others.

Hmm, how appropriate that I drew this card today.  Tomorrow is my interview with the Fund for Public Health in NY.  It's a private non-profit affiliated with the NYC Dept of Health (another of Bloomberg's strategies to avoid using government money for pet projects).  I don't know how this will go.  I'm cautiously optimistic but I think the 2 of Wands is a sign that even if this doesn't pan out it's time to find a new project; a new focus for my energies. 

One of the things I love about the Illuminated 2 of Wands is the energy swirling around the wands and the globe held by the main figure in the card.  They give a sense of the potential just waiting to be unleashed.  On the Tarot of Trees 2 of Wands I am struck by the swirls of energy rolling around the ground beneath the trees.  And I love how the trees hover near the shoreline.  It's as though the nourishment they draw form the water gives them the energy they need to continue. 

Both cards offer a sense of renewed energy and hope.  I am able to move ahead and start making plans and putting them into action.  It's time to find some partners who can help me work towards achieving my goals.  Maybe that's one of the keys to this card - I need to start building a network and tapping into resources I've been ignoring.

Swords are associated with reason, thought, logic, will, courage, verbal skill, matters pertaining to the mind and survival in the world and the element of air. Knights represent pure energy, focused and active, protection, strength, ambition and questing. This is the warrior knight, the Templar knight, who fought for ideals and beliefs. He is a fierce fighter but is cautious to plan well before he enters battle. He prefers strategy over bloodshed. He represents courage and youthful energy.  I see this card as representing you - youthful, energetic, full of confidence but also intelligent and able to communicate well - someone who can slay dragons if necessary. 

"Being deeply committed to acting out your philosophical ideals in your daily lifestyle; getting so caught up in your daily routine that everything else recedes in importance; being completely focused on your intellect and using mind and ideas; having a strong desire to express what you think and being intent on communicating those ideas to others." - Gail Fairfield

For some reason last night and this morning I had several intense and vivid dreams that I actually remembered.  I often have dreams that I am unable to recall that next day.  Sometimes I'll have some type of lingering sense that something odd or strong or whatever occurred but usually I have no clear recollection.  Today I had a fairly clear recollection of two of these dreams.  I couldn't begin to comment on what they might mean because I didn't really examine them for that.  I know I probably should (using Tarot) but my head is just not into it.  Of course how appropriate that I drew the Knight of Swords for this task - exploring the inner workings of my own mind.  Unfortunately my knight is feeling in need of a break and has decided to get off the horse for a bit.  Maybe tomorrow I can give it a try.

I think the ultimate message this card is offering me is that I need to focus a bit more on my mental state and explore what these dreams mean to me because they hold the answers to some issues about which I've been puzzling.  Of course the reality is that I cannot think of anything pressing right now but perhaps that is the challenge.  It's something that my unconscious knows I need to focus but which my conscious mind is avoiding.  Gods know that if there is one thing at which I excel it's avoiding.  I can procrastinate or postpone or just plain old avoid taking care of issues until well beyond the point of common sense.  It may be a defense mechanism or sheer laziness on my part.  Once again - something upon which I should probably reflect a bit more. 

Then again the funny thing about the Knight of Swords is that he is not necessarily great at reflection.  He does use his intellect to plan his actions but I've never felt that he spends much time reflecting upon them once he is finished - not unless he failed at his tasks.  And even then the type of reflection in which he engages is more of a strategy session to avoid such incidences in the future than true reflection.

So maybe the key is that I embody too much of this energy and what I need to do is to channel it in a way that allows more time for introspection and reflection.  Granted this is not my usual proclivity but the reality is that if I'm not willing to make changes and really look at my motivations then what is the point of working with Tarot at all.  I'm not using it for prognostication (I don't tend to have much success in that path anyway) so there must be a reason I enjoy working with the cards.  If I keep ignoring its messages then I'm sure the Tarot will start to give me kicks in the butt.  I have noticed that they can be rather impatient with those of us who ignore their messages too often.

Aces symbolize beginnings, the start of something new and the seed of new growth.  Pentacles are associated with the material world, acquisitions of wealth and possessions, our connection to Earth and Nature, sensation, matters pertaining to the physical plane and the element of earth.  Pentacles can also be connected with practicality, groundedness and being realistic. 

Ace of Pentacles reversed may indicate being so focused on holding on to what you have that you have failed to recognize the needs of those around you, especially needs for material aid; a false or premature sense of security; extreme competition where financial gain is concerned; blinding ambition; and reluctance to “leave the garden” and make our own way.

"You can potentially create a new form or level of safety and stability in your life.  You could experience a new kind of groundedness or centeredness.  you may feel the stirrings of a new connection with natural, earthy forces." - Gail Fairfield

Okay, so this is an interesting card in light of what happened yesterday.  I got a call in response to a resume I submitted for a job.  The recruiter asked me several questions and I think my answers were very good although near the end she was very honest that she felt I was a bit weak in policy analysis - which is a key component of the job.  So once we hung up, I did not expect to hear back from her.  Then and unexpected even occurred - the phone rang again it was the recruiter.  She told me that although she didn't think I would be the best candidate for the policy analyst position, she felt that my experience and training would make me an excellent candidate for a wellness coordinator position with the same agency.  I wasn't sure what that would entail but I looked it up online.  It sounds very interesting, challenging and like something I could do.  So I now have an interview on Tuesday before my class.

I'm a bit nervous - after all one of the key components of the positions involves health and obesity issues.  Once they actually see my, my lack of fitness might work against me.  Of course I'm hoping I can turn it into a positive - I think if anyone can it's me.  I think the Ace of Pentacles reversed is reminding me that physical health and finding a new job might be intimately related - at least in this instance.  What I'm very excited about is that this position might allow me to combine several varied interests in way that will both challenge and pay me.  This could be a very good thing.

So I'm keeping my fingers crossed that all goes well on Tuesday.  I think this is a golden opportunity being offered to me and it's mine to accept or throw away.  I have faith that it will go well but at the same time I need to make sure that I do my homework and prepare myself for the interview.

The 7 of Wands - triumphantly defending yourself; holding off all attackers; confronting your problems; facing adversity; dealing with challenges. All of these terms can be applied to the 7 of Wands. It is a card of triumph over adversity, or at least being willing to attempt to triumph over adversity.  Wands are usually associated with the element of fire, inspiration, energy, passion, feeling, enterprise, ambition, matters pertaining to the "spark of life", and action.  The number 7 in many cultures is a sacred number (think of the 7 chakras) and is the number of divine and earthly harmony, of fate and transformation.  The 7 of Wands often symbolizes standing up for what you believe in and defending your principles. 

"You are experiencing who you are on a variety of levels.  You recognize that you are not just one self, you are many selves.  Now, you are being more flexible with ways that you name yourself.  It's stimulating to imagine yourself as a variety of different people.  Others may not see your multiple selves but you enjoy them." - Gail Fairfield

"The 7 of Wands is a card about being brave and taking a stand.  This card tells you to stand up for what you believe, to be firm in our convictions and viewpoints, and to ready yourself to battle bravely.  Refuse to yield and you will come out the victor.  Do not rush off foolishly into battle without taking stock to make sure you know exactly what it is you are fighting for." - Dana Driscoll

These does certainly seem right - becoming more aware of and familiar with my various personalities.  And I have always felt that I have multiple personalities.  I think all people have multiple personalities but many may try to contain theirs or are leery of admitting it.  I'm comfortable with that aspect of myself.  There is a side to me that appreciates arts and music, enjoys classic literature and Golden Age Hollywood movies.  Then there is the side of me that loves zombie movies and novels, finds farts and fart jokes uproarious and loves drinking myself silly.  There is the side of me that loves cooking and hosting company and the side of me that prefers to be alone and allowed to vegetate in peace.  They are not incompatible and I don't feel the least bit abnormal as a result. 

What I have grown to realize is that sometimes the people who may share these various interests may not always blend well.  For example my friends who enjoy Tarot reading and other alternative interests may not blend well with my hard-drinking, rowdy neighborhood friends.  Of course this works both ways - I might not get along well with my neighborhood friends who have other interests.  It's sort of like we're all octagons who can connect with each other on one or maybe two sides but it is unusual and even rare to find someone who matches us on all eight sides. 

In fact I think if we met someone that matched us on all eight sides me might feel a bit suffocated or overwhelmed or create that feeling in the other.  If we are multi-faceted people then it only stands to reason that it will take multiple people with multiple interests to share those facets.  I think that is one of the cautions represented by this card.  It is a good idea to have the courage of your convictions and stand up for what you believe in but it is equally important to realize that others will not share all of your viewpoints and have equally valid perspectives of their own.  Recognizing that they have equal right to their own convictions and viewpoints and appreciating this fact can help prevent us from engaging in futile and pointless battles.  I think that is the kind of self-awareness and inner knowledge represented by this card when it is reversed.

The 7 of Wands - triumphantly defending yourself; holding off all attackers; confronting your problems; facing adversity; dealing with challenges. All of these terms can be applied to the 7 of Wands. It is a card of triumph over adversity, or at least being willing to attempt to triumph over adversity.  Wands are usually associated with the element of fire, inspiration, energy, passion, feeling, enterprise, ambition, matters pertaining to the "spark of life", and action.  The number 7 in many cultures is a sacred number (think of the 7 chakras) and is the number of divine and earthly harmony, of fate and transformation.  The 7 of Wands often symbolizes standing up for what you believe in and defending your principles. 

"You were beginning to feel a bit one-dimensional.  Now you want to explore some new aspects of yourself.  It's time to experiment a little with who you can be, try on some new hats, play around with some new roles that your might adopt.  You might explore how your function in a variety of situations or explore the variety of selves that you can be in a single situation.  You are discovering the many facets of your personality and expanding your interests." - Gail Fairfield

"The Seven of Wands is a card about being brave and taking a stand.  This card tells you to stand up for what you believe, to be firm in our convictions and viewpoints, and and to ready yourself to battle brevity.  Refuse to yield and you might come out the victor." - Dana Driscoll

When I was looking at this card it hit me that it has always represented a joyful and energetic battle; someone who enjoys a really good argument with friends.  I've often felt that in many ways it describes me.  Sometimes a really rollicking and good-natured battle with friends and/or family get my heart pumping.  And that can be enjoyable as long as everyone is on board.

What I have come to realize is that if one person is really an outgoing, opinionated, maybe even somewhat loud kind of personality and the other person is more quiet and withdrawn then it becomes less of a good natured battle and more of a bullying situation.  I have, unfortunately, engaged in my than my fair share of unintentional bullying situations as a result of my proclivity for being a tad too extroverted and outgoing.  I think I'm just having a fun, if loud, good-natured roast with someone of a like mind and eventually I realize that what I've actually done is put someone in a very uncomfortable, awkward position from which they could see no escape.  It is often unintentional and unknowing on my part but that doesn't make it any easier for the victim to bear.

This card is serving as a reminder to me that although I embrace this type of approach to life, I need to be a bit more sensitive to the fact that others do not share my boisterous approach to life.  To folks like that I come off as a loud-mouth, blustering bully and that is rarely my intent.  I shall have to keep this in mind in social situations and try to avoid making more of an ass of myself than is unavoidable.

The Hierophant traditionally represents the connection between humans and the divine, the teacher of hidden knowledge, spiritual beliefs, organized religion, moral growth and development. Here we have a symbol of tradition and moral authority. The Hierophant can be seen as representing formal, organized religious and moral beliefs and attitudes, education and the principle of teaching and learning. 

"Positive:  You're establishing a relationships with a philosophy that can really lead and direct your life.  It's a good idea to go ahead and take responsibility for behaving in accordance with this ethical system.  You can assume leadership since you are loyal to your ideals and accountable for your actions.
Upright:  You are involved with a group or another person because of your shared philosophy, common goals, or social orientation.  You may have a sense of connectedness with a family, lover, church, political group, spiritual group, or whatever.  You feel loyalty toward these others and choose to live in accordance with the beliefs that you share with them.  You may even have  a position of leadership within the group.  The group acts as your inspiration, encouraging you to truly live up to your beliefs.  It may also act as your judge, letting you know when you're off track." - Gail Fairfield

"The Hierophant is a wise and ancient oak, this one overlooking a druid grove. When I think of the hierophant, I don't think of a pope or pastor, but rather of a druid. An ancient one of wisdom, law, and divine knowledge. His gnarled and wisened trunk has seen many seasons. And like a wise religious leader, this oak is comfortable growing in a forest not just of oaks, but of other types of trees.." - - Dana Driscoll

How appropriate to draw this card today.  It is my first day back at school for the semester and it's my final class.  Once I have completed this course I will have achieved my Masters in Public Administration.  I have embraced the Hierophant (or the Initiate) in my life.  How ironic that despite my aversion to him for many years, I have often lived under his influence.  Perhaps my dislike of The Hierophant was due to some professional jealousy - I wanted to become him not just follow him.

Looking at the Tarot of Trees Hierophant, I am struck by the sturdiness and solidness of his presence.  He has always been and he will always be.  He might take slightly different forms or transform over time but his essential energy remains unchanged.  On the Illuminated Initiate card I get a sense of swirling magical energy pulsating in the aqua light that surrounds the Hierophant.  He is not truly masculine or feminine but a blending of these energies that chooses to manifest itself in a more masculine form.  There is a necessary structure and discipline to learning the Hierophant's lessons.  It is a more academic, intellectual knowledge rather than an intuitive one.

And as much as I've avoided his influence in the past, I am beginning to appreciate the Hierophant.  He may be a stern taskmaster and a bit pedantic on occasion, but he also holds the keys to our past and our future.  He is the memory keeper; the one who relates the ancient histories to the young.  Although many people may feel that history is pointless, I have long believed that if we truly learn to understand our history then we might actually learn to avoid repeating some of our past mistakes.  Of course this has not proven to be the case just yet but I have hope. 

Once again I get a strong sense the the Hierophant is trying to tell me that one of my tasks is to help him in his job.  I have been getting a sense for some time that my calling in this life (or at least one of my callings) is to teach.  I have often felt deeply satisfied by facilitating training workshops for people.  When I sense that they "got it", I feel as though I've accomplished quite a task.  When I receive positive feedback from participants and realize that in some small way I've expanded their horizons, I feel a sense of accomplishment and pride.  That is no small thing.  And it helps give me a sense of focus in my current job search.

The Hanged Man is the 12th Trump in the Major Arcana.  The traditional meaning of this card is self-sacrifice for the greater good, faith in the integrity of one's actions, a period of waiting or transition and finding knowledge within.  This card can represent the inner journey, psychism and meditations.  It might be suggesting that it might be good to wait for a better time to make a move.  Be patient and wait for the right opportunity or energies to manifest.  Wait for external circumstances to be right.  When the time is right, you'll know and be able to take full advantage of the situation.

"Positive:  It's a good idea to wait for a better time in which to make your move.  You know what you want to do.  Now, just watch for the appropriate opportunity, energy, or situation to manifest.  Then you can, and will, take action.
Upright:  You're waiting for external circumstances to be right.  When the right job, person, house, or situation comes along, you'll take action.  You know that you'll recognize the cues and be ready to move as soon as you see them." - Gail Fairfield.

"Cat's Interpretation:  Cats are very good at stillness, much more than most humans.  A cat who is gazing at nothing can appear sunk in deeply profound thought - although of course it's a matter of opinion whether this is really the case.  But it's interesting to note that in some Buddhist faiths the cat is a repository for the soul of someone who has been particularly spiritual in a past life." - BBC companion book

The ability to be still is definitely not one of my strong points.  Actually that's a bit of an overstatement.  I can be still when I am engaged in something - reading or watching a movie.  However I find it very challenging to stay still and do nothing.  Meditation is something I have yet to master.  Perhaps I'm afraid i"m missing something if I'm still.  Or maybe I am so busy distracting myself by doing "things" that I miss the opportunity for gaining insights and inner peace that being still can offer. 

Something about the skeleton hanging in the Toscano makes me think that one of the issues I have will stillness is that it bares me to the bone; pares me down to my essence.  Perhaps in avoiding stillness I am trying to avoid the truth such an experience would bring.  I often joke that I am not very introspective.  That is not entirely true.  I am often aware on some level just what lessons I might learn by being introspective and sometimes I think i prefer to avoid them.  Of course in reality I am simply  putting off the inevitable.  Whether I choose to face these lessons now or am forced to address them later, they must be learned. 

Perhaps I can take a page from the cat's interpretation and learn to be comfortable with that level of stillness.  Cats have often seemed to possess much greater knowledge and insight than humans.  Maybe if I can learn to emulate their stillness I will be able to emulate their insights.  This card also reminds me of an old poem I remember from childhood - "There was an old owl who lived in an oak.  The more he saw the less he spoke.  The less he spoke the more he heard.  Why can't we be like this wise old bird?"  I have long appreciated the wisdom in this poem but I have neve been able to actually implement it.  Quiet is right up there with stillness in the list of skills I've never mastered.  Perhaps it's my tendency to avoid the insights that might be gained in silence.  I get the sense that what I am running from and avoiding is facing the truth about myself.  I  know that I can only keep this up for so long.  Eventually it will catch up to me.  The longer I avoid it, the more potential for damage to myself occurs.  I realize that if I don't' address and embrace the truths that can be learned by stillness and silence, I risk hurting myself with the tricks I use to avoid them both.

Traditionally The Lovers, the 6th Major Arcana, represent choices, not only of a romantic nature but also of a life altering nature, and the coming together of opposites, polarities and opposition, the feminine and the masculine.  It represents the principle of relatedness and choice.  The Lovers is often seen to represent choices and paths we take in life.  It can also symbolize romantic partnership and alliances. 

The Lovers often represent making a decision between choices, selecting a path and committing to it, and the connection between the divine and the human.  The choices reflected in The Lovers are not easy choices, they are matters of life-long impact.  Once we start down that path, it will difficult to change course.  It's not as easy as just backtracking.

"Reversed:  One part of you is cooperating with another part of you.  You may hold some beliefs and attitudes that don't always work smoothly together.  Here, you are finding a way to bring them together and have them support each other - you may realize that you can be both fat and beautiful.
Negative:  Two of more incompatible elements or individuals are coming together.  You may be trying to forcefully create and impossible relationship between factors or people whose goals and interests do not mesh.  They really can't be expected to cooperate with each other." - Gail Fairfield

MotM LWB - Adam, Eve, the Serpent, Lilith in the foreground with wild beast & the screech owl.  The Book of Ezekiel, screeching is ancient Hebrew for the word Lilith.

"A Cat's Interpretation:  Few cats forma c lose relationship with their mates, although it does happen from time to time.  But mostly any "romantic" encounter is a brief one, and the real passion and commitment is reserved for those they live with - whether cats or people.  Even then, it's debatable how much faithfulness most cats show.  Of course they can be genuinely affectionate, but it's just that to many a cat, there seems no point in making choices when it comes to love and fondness - they find no problem in bestowing it equally on several households." - Baroque Bohemian Cats companion book

The MotM Lovers shows two naked figures, one male and one female, standing near a tree in the middle of a garden.  Wound around the trunk of the tree is a creature with a human torso and a serpent tale.  The  creature is offering something to the  couple.  The woman, reclining on the ground, is reaching for it.  The man, standing above her, seems to be grasping the branch in an effort to shake loose  the creature.  They are surrounded by an idyllic garden and water.  On the bottom frame of the card we see three somewhat ominous figures - a white goat, a woman with pale white skin, long white hair and a malicious smile on her face, and a white owl.  Above the couple we see a winged being pointing a spear or sword towards the tree.

To me, this card just shrieks (sorry I couldn't resist) of choices and of our connection to the Divine.  The serpent is offering Adam & Eve to make one choice while the winged being seems to be trying to prevent them from accepting what the serpent if offering.  There is temptation and distractions all around Adam & Eve but somehow they still manage to stay together.  Their combined energies are the only thing that can help them make it through.  Even if they make the wrong choice, their  united powers can help them survive it.  That is the key to this card - even if we lose our connection to the Divine, to the Universe, we can find it again through love and through combining our various energies to accomplish the task.  This love doesn't necessarily mean romantic love, it means loving ourselves and our world and our spirit enough to keep struggling along. 

On the White Cats Lovers card we see two cats of different breeds facing each other under the watchful gaze of a larger winged cat.  The winged cat's markings make it appear to be an older, bearded angel.  In the background there is a tree full of fruit and a serpent is twined around its trunk.  The two cats in the foreground seem unaware of anything but each other - oblivious to potential dangers or temptations.  Their fascination for each other allows them to focus on themselves and avoid any external lures. 

I think we have all suffered the consequences of poor choices.  But we are able to overcome these mistakes by holding on to our faith in ourselves, by marshaling our forces and forging ahead.  If we let ourselves get too bogged down mourning and berating ourselves for making the mistake then we lose sight of the fact that we are part of the divine and can never truly lose that connections.  We are part of the divine tapestry of the Universe and even death does not destroy our thread, it merely changes it.  So our spirit will endure and triumph.  But how we conduct ourselves in this life are a direct result of our choices.  If we choose to let ourselves lose sight of our Divine connection, then that is our decision.  We cannot hold someone else responsible.  It has always seemed to me that one of the flaws of Christian theology is holding Eve (and all women) responsible for the ills of humanity.  We all have the free will and choice to let ourselves suffer for this belief.  If we are able to give and receive love, to accept the responsibility and consequences for our actions and to believe that "we are stardust" then we can never lose our connection to the Divine.

Even if we find it difficult to work with others or even incompatible elements within ourselves, that does not mean I am "bad".  It simply means I need to find another path to achieve my goals.  Perhaps one of the reasons I am finding it difficult to consolidate these disparate parts of myself is because I haven't found the right incentive.  Once I have found the "right" project or goal for myself, I think it will become easier to get my multiple aspects to work together in harmony.

The number 5 represents that added something that brings the situation out of balance again.  It represents the struggle and challenge of inner and outer growth.  Cups are associated with emotions, love, pleasure in life; matters pertaining to the unconscious, intuition and the inner planes, and the element of water.   This card often symbolizes the need to let go of our emotional connection to something that has passed out of our lives. 

"Your feelings are in flux.  Everything that seemed emotionally sure, now feels as though it's changing and shifting.  You are adapting your emotional foundations.  You may be sensing emotional uncertainly, discomfort or confusion.  You may be feeling vulnerable.  Your feelings and relationships are being challenged.  Old feelings or relationships that weren't resolved in the past may be re-emerging for current resolution." - Gail Fairfield

"A Cat's Interpretation:  Cats do experience loss of course, whether it's of territory, companions or simply the loss of prey they were hunting.  However it's the rare cat that seems to dwell on this for long.  A cat's nature is to forget and move on, and perhaps we humans could learn a lot from that." - Baroque Bohemian Cats companion book

Flux?  I don't know if I feel in a state of flux.  Although I do admit that I have been feeling a bit sad lately.  It's getting near my brother Tom's birthday and it sometimes makes me a bit melancholy.  I do love the Cat's Interpretation.  There is something touching in the reminder that a cat does feel the loss but doesn't wallow in it.  When her companion Chuchulinka was euthanized, Holler definitely moped around for a while.  She clearly missed the "big sister" who had been there for her entire life.  She did eventually adapt to being an only cat and now seems quite content to have our undivided attention.

Thinking about Tom at this time of year is both happy and sad.  I am able to remember the silly things he used to do that made us all laugh so much.  I also remember his fierce temper and his loyalty.  Remembering him does not mean getting swamped and overwhelmed with loss.  It means that I can remember him and honor him with love and joy.  There is still pain but it's more of a bittersweet pain.  I was lucky and blessed to have known him at all.  That his time on this Earth was cut short doesn't take away from the gifts he gave me.  And that's what I need to focus on - how he lived rather than how he died.