As I look at the image of the Queen of Cups from the Whispering Tarot I am struck by the fact that this woman is submerged in the water but not overwhelmed by it. She seems calm and in control, not struggling to stay afloat. She holds her cup in one hand and a white ball or globe in the other. She is surrounded by amphibian creatures – a frog and a crane. Lily pads float in the water and the full moon behind her replicates the shape of the globe.

In the Templar Queen of Cups she looks like her throne is riding the waves. She may be perched near the shore and has her back to the water. We see a ship riding the waves behind her and a lighthouse sending forth it light. But both of these are behind her. Perhaps she senses them but she is not focused on them. Perhaps these are symbols of her power and energy – she is the light across the sometimes turbulent waters that are our emotional lives; she is the ship that is able to maneuver across those tossing and turbulent seas. The Queen of Cups is the nurturer who welcomes us back and allows us to heal from the wounds we sustain. She immerses us in the healing waters of her love and we emerge cleansed, healed and reborn.

I have always had a tense and challenging relationship with the Queen of Cups. I was always afraid that I would drown in her emotional currents. What I tended to see in her eyes was emotional dependency and neediness. I didn’t realize that it was merely a reflection of what I saw in my own. Before I could learn to love the Queen of Cups I needed to learn to love that part of myself that needed emotional nurturance and support. The reality is that in my world vulnerability can be dangerous. It opens you up to the petty meanness that seems to surround us so often.

But over the past few years I’ve made my peace with the Queen of Cups (thanks to Mary Greer’s class at the 2007 Readers Studio). And each time I draw her I learn to pen up a bit more and see another aspect of her in myself. Perhaps I’ll never be comfortable enough to openly be a Queen of Cups. I just don’t think that’s in my nature. But I can at least make my peace with her and embrace her energy and let it fill me with the strength to be willing to open myself up to connect with others on an emotional level. I can be more empathetic and empathic without being overwhelmed by it. I have the ability to set my parameters and boundaries and not get lost in the waves. I just need to trust in my instincts and I no longer need to be afraid of the Queen of Cups.