As soon as I saw this card appeared the thought “change of perspective” flashed across my brain. And as I considered it I realized that what I’m interpreting this card to me for me is that I really need to move away from old patterns and old ways of doing things and let myself move towards a new shore; a different and new perspective. I think in some ways what I need to do is move away from the emotional aspects of this situation (that being my job) and get a more rational approach to it. It is very easy to cling to outworn and outdated beliefs and commitments but in the clear light of day and using a logical approach things may appear different.

So what thoughts or perceptions or patterns do I need to move away from? Well I can think of several. The first thought pattern I need to leave behind is that I wouldn’t be a good professional Tarot reader. Would I be perfect? No, but then again who is perfect? The main reason I want to read Tarot cards is to offer people some guidance and insight. I might not may all of my clients (or potential clients) happy and I might not be the right reader for all of them. But I have to start somewhere.

Another useful, outworn perception is that I belong at this agency. I think the reality is that I believe in its mission and I’m passionate about achieving its goals and vision but right now this is a very unhealthy place. And I don’t’ mean just for me. There have been so many terminations or forced departures here (some for very valid reasons) that things seem to be a permanently unsettled state. Our Exec believes in change simply for the sake of change. And that’s not always a good thing. I do think change is beneficial and sometimes it does need to be forced. But I also believe that after a dramatic change we should take a break to give ourselves time to regain our strength and rebuild our resources. That’s not happening here. So I have to consider whether staying here is in my best interests. Not an easy decision for me to make but ultimately one that I have to make.

It’s interesting to look at the cards and see the different ways the concepts of this card are portrayed. The expression of sadness, almost despair, on the face of the woman in the Templar card struck me. Because of the theme for this deck it made me think of the tale of Mary Magdalene fleeing Jerusalem after Jesus’ crucifixion, pregnant and alone. She was a refugee seeking a friendly environment to raise her child. She must have felt similar to how I feel about leaving this agency – she knows it’s for the best but at the same time she doesn’t want to leave behind all that is familiar and known. I feel some of those same emotions when I even think about leaving. On one level I can weigh the pros and cons and make a logical, rational decision. But on another level, my most basic self (who just loves a sense of security) is shrieking “Hell no, we won’t go”.

And one last perception that I need to move beyond involves my own perceptions of my health and my body. Like a lot of people, I have some body image issues. I never really fit the paradigm of traditional beauty (and once upon a time I couldn’t have cared less). Ironically the more concerned I became about it, the more out of control I got. So now I need to work on my self-esteem and image issues and implement some healthy eating and exercise plans. So I need to move across my emotional issues in this area (thank goodness for journaling) and get myself to a healthier and happier shore.

Wow, looking over this To-Do list, I seem to have set quite a few challenging tasks for myself. It’s a good thing that I like a challenge.