Reversed, the 3 of Pentacles can indicate that I’ve been unable to add creative touches to whatever I do and that I may not be concentrating on the task at hand and giving it our best. A sense of aimlessness and lack of ambition; a mediocre result causes the seeker to lose her usefulness to a critical, demanding supervisor or disinterest in your work leads you to not bother finishing what you've begun, leaving assignments to others to finish.

Once again, the reality for me is that I’m just not feeling fulfilled in my job as it is currently structured. I have been able to achieve a small level of success at finding resources to help the agency find training opportunities, especially for upper management. I’m still frustrated because I can see that some things won’t be changing. The Training and Development Committee (TDC) won’t be something I oversee. Several of the Professional Development Committee members believe the TDC should be a sub-committee of the Professional Development Committee. But our second in command wants to run that committee so that’s not going to happen. But I have to let that go.

In fact, the more I think about the more I’m reaching the conclusion that I need to let the agency go. It is becoming more and more apparent that strong, opinionated women are considered a burden or obstacle under our current regime. Our ideas are not listened to and our opinions are not valued. If we’re not good at stroking egos and playing the company game then we have a limited future at this agency. So I really have to consider why do I want to stay here?

Maybe what the reversed 3 of Pentacles is telling me to consider what opinion this administration has about my body of work. And considering that it’s reversed I think that is telling me two things – one is that they’re not seeing my accomplishments clearly and the other is that even when they do consider them, they’re not impressed. I think I’m still viewed as an apprentice even if I’ve really reached the level of journeyman. Although to be fair I have to consider if I’ve been viewing myself as a journeyman.

In fact this applies even in my Tarot work. I’ve held off taking the steps that would help me establish myself as a professional Tarot reader because I keep viewing myself as an apprentice. But when I look at it clearly I am a journeyman, in both my professional life and in my Tarot work. But if I don’t present myself that way and carry myself with confidence then I can’t expect anyone else to view me that way either. Maybe I need to visit the Wizard of Oz to gain some self-confidence. Or maybe I need to do some traveling down the Yellow Brick Road on my own and find the way back to myself. I know there is still an authentic me in there someplace but she has become so buried by practical concerns and fear that I have to dig her out. It’s excavation time!!