The Hermit represents the inner search for self.  It is the solitary quest many people experience when they are trying to gain insight into their life.  It can also symbolize the need for guidance, wisdom and caution.  I can symbolize temporarily withdrawing from others or from your normal environment in order to get some perspective on your situation.  You already have all the knowledge and wisdom needed to understand what has been happening but not it's time to think things through before rejoining others.  The Hermit is also the 9th card in the Major Arcana.  9 (1+8=9) is a mathematically magical number - its square root is three and the sum of any number multiplied by nine equals nine when added together (e.g.. 9 x 8 = 72, 7 + 2 = 9).  Nines can represent struggle, attainment, having the end in sight, bringing things to an end, completion and conclusion.  The Hermit is about seeking your inner self, the knowledge that will allow you to learn more about yourself and what you truly wish to achieve in your life. 

"You are withdrawing within yourself to think things through.  You may be going through the motions of your everyday activities but, emotionally, you have withdrawn.  You feel this is necessary in order for you to sort things out alone." - Gail Fairfield.

As I pondered this card one of the things that occurred to me is that very often I have a Hermit-like approach to things because I am a bit of a snob.  I actually take pride in the fact that I'm not like everyone else.  I don't want to fit in as part of the crowd.  I always remember one of my parents mantras when I was a kid was "don't do it just because everyone else does".

Yesterday I was watching an episode of Law & Order: SVU with Robin Williams guest starring as an "activist" who encourages people not to act like sheep.  As a result of his activism he leads relatively harmless events like a huge pillow fight in a park and an event in Grand Central Station where participants freeze like statues for a specific time.

But as I watched it I realized that even in their attempts not to act like "sheep" people follow the crowd.  It's human nature.  We want to feel like we belong somewhere even if that somewhere is another bunch of "misfits".  And part of fitting in is sometimes going along with the crowd even if the activity is not one you personally wish to do.  And that can be okay - it's called compromise.  It's when you consistently suppress your own desires in order to fit in with the group that problems arise.  It's when you always give up your ideas for someone else's that you are truly acting like a "sheep". 

I tend to have a problem being a "sheep".  And that also explains why I'm something of a loner.  I do enjoy being with other people and having friends.  But I often do not feel the need to do something because everyone else wants to do it.  For example, I have a few friends that have known each other for years - we all grew up in the same neighborhood.  We get together once or twice a year and have a "girl's night out".  Sometimes we just got to a restaurant, eat, drink and catch up.  Other times we might go to a movie or even roller skating.  But there are times when the rest of them want to do things that I think suck.  It's often not about the activity but about the fact that there will be a crowd of people there.  One time when we got together they wanted to go to one of those "Dave and Buster" places.  I was resistant but they kept assuring me it was fun, for adults only, etc.  Well when we got there it was packed (we would have to wait at least 30 minutes to get in) and it was obviously that kids were running all around this place.  And it was in a mall (one of those places I avoid like the plague).  Needless to say I became a pain in the ass to the rest of them because I just didn't want to wait for what looked like no great things.  I'm sure they wanted to kill  me (heck in retrospect I would have wanted to kill me).  But the main problem was that we didn't have consensus.  We didn't discuss the options or have any conversation to convince me why this place would be fun.  I just sort of shrugged my shoulders and gave in.  When that happens you have a disgruntled person.  And I certainly don't think this is limited to me.  So I would guess that people who regularly give in to be crowd pleasers are more "sheep-like" because they are going against their true nature.  Then again being like a sheep is in a sheep's nature.

I guess the reality is that all human beings have an introverted side and an extroverted side.  Some of us have a much greater need to be around other people and to be accepted while others are comfortable being more Hermit-like loners.  I am very comfortable with my Hermit nature but I also realize there are times when I truly need to be around friends and loved ones.  The only time I get conflicted is when I want to be with others but can't find anyone to talk to or hang out with or when I want to be alone but I have to be around people because of some sort of obligation.  When I can be true to my nature I am happy and comfortable.  The conflict arises when I am being forced to go against my natural inclination.  Even in the example I gave about "Dave and Busters", on a different night and in a different frame of mind, I might have really enjoyed that kind of place.  I love arcades and silly games like skeeball and shuffle bowling.  So it depends on my mood and the vibe I get from the place.  I love bookstores and can spend hours roaming the shelves.  But when they're crowded or people are sprawled in the aisles with their feet stretched our reading a book I feel the need to do violence.  That's usually a sign it's time for me to leave.  But I know that about myself and act accordingly. 

I guess in some respects, I am very in touch with my inner self.  Not because I am very introspective or intuitive, but mostly because I just don't know how else to be.  Sometimes people tell me they love talking to me because I'm honest or I "keep it real" or I say what's on my mind.  The reality is that this is no great feat for me.  I have no concept of how to be any other way.  I am truly a "what you see is what you get" kind of person.  That might not always make me fun to be around but I can also accept when someone tells me that.