The number 3 symbolizes the generative force, creative power, multiplicity, and forward movement.  They are about planning and preparing, putting the details into place before beginning the work.  The suit of Swords is associated with reason, thought, logic, will, courage, verbal skill, matters pertaining to the mind, communication and the element of air.  It can represent getting all your plans and thoughts assembled in a coherent manner before presenting them to the public.  It's about deciding how to incorporate these plans and ideas into your current lifestyle.  The 3 of Swords can also indicate a conflict of the heart or a flash of insight that allows the seeker to perceive a situation for what it is.  Sometimes it suggests a sense of betrayal and heartbreak, something that our mind thought would come true has failed.  

Today was an odd day.  It started out on a sour note because when I checked my work email I had received a note from a co-worker that was rather snotty and implied I wasn’t doing my job as it pertained to his department.  What really ticked me off is that he blind CC’’ed my supervisor as though he was trying to get me in trouble.  This is someone I had always believed I had a good working relationship with.  We’re not friends but we’ve always been able to work together in the past.  I guess I have been judged and found wanting by his standards.  

At first I was furious and wanted to send off a scathing, snarling response.  But cooler head prevailed and I responded in what I consider a professional manner.  I countered his points and indicated that I would do what I could to help resolve the situation.  What is frustrating me is that his expectations are unreasonable.  He needs someone to facilitate a workshop on Jan 31st because his original facilitator canceled.  Ironically the workshop is on conflict resolution.  As I explained to him, it is short notice and I don’t have the authority to tell staff they have to facilitate a workshop on a Saturday.  Apparently he’s also been grumbling to his staff that the agency has a “training department” so we should be helping him out.  What training department?!  I AM the training department.  What truly frustrates me about this situation is that this person is very tight with out executive director and can easily trash me to him.  And I happen to know that his unit is underperforming but I doubt he’ll be held accountable.  Just another piece of aggravation.

On a positive not, I facilitated a workshop at the center I used to direct on Mandated Reporter training.  This topic covers child abuse awareness, statues and procedures for reporting suspected abuse.  The staff was a bit rowdy but at least they were paying attention and participated.  They seemed to enjoy the session and gave me some positive feedback.  It made me realize two things - I miss being in a center and I really like and am good at facilitating workshops.  I think I need to pursue this more.  I can deal with paperwork but when the majority of my function is focused on compliance and quality assurance issues then I’m getting bogged down in paperwork and minutiae - not my strong suit.

It gives me a lot to ponder and makes me realize that the clock is ticking for me.  I really need to make some decision and move forward because right now, I’m just stagnating.  I don’t want to become a fetid swamp creature.

How does this connect to my card today?  I think the sense of betrayal came into play when I received that email from someone I thought I had a solid relationship with.  The positive thing is that this situation is forcing me to plan and reassess what I'm doing and what I want to be doing.  It's forcing me to move forward even though it will be heartbreaking for me to leave this agency.  It also points out that I need to plan and consider all facets before putting anything into motion.  There might not be a rush to make these changes but they really need to happen.