Twos symbolize formation, polarity and the coming together of opposites.  Cups are associated with the element of water, with emotions, love, pleasure in life, matters pertaining to the unconscious, intuition and inner planes.  The 2 of Cups offers a message of joining, an emotional relationship, being part of a couple.

Partnerships, pairings, emotional connections - none of these feels right today.  Well not on a personal level anyway.  For some reasons the cups that have been showing up lately seem to pertain more to my current job situation and my emotional connection to the place.  This is causing me some discomfort because even when my brain is telling me to move on my heart keeps me in place.  It is leaving me very torn.  And the issue is entirely my own, it has nothing to do with the job or the agency.  The issue is my emotional connection to this place and whether it is healthy for me.

I know that I will always be one of those people who needs to feel a connection to any place I work.  I'm not happy just "phoning it in".  I need to find something I can connect with and feel good about doing.  Ironically the way things are right now I can't say that's the case.  I'm getting very bogged down in administrative stuff right now - paperwork.  I know it needs to be done but that doesn't mean I like it or wouldn't do everything possible to avoid it.  But that attitude is now resulting in a mountain of incomplete paperwork taking over my desk.  And ultimately that will lead to even bigger problems.  I know this and yet I still procrastinate because my heart isn't in it.

This leaves me with two very simple and very basic choices - I either need to find a new job that I can feel enthusiastic and love doing or I can find the way to make this job into something I love doing even though I know it will always have a paperwork aspect.  I'm starting to think that I'm sabotaging myself.  Okay, let's me honest, I don't THINK it, I KNOW it.  Part of me really knows it's time to move on but I'm afraid.  So there is another part of me that will create some sort of situation that forces the issue.  This doesn't really help much and puts me in a negative light.  I don't want to do that to myself.  So I either need to focus my energies on moving on or making some modifications so that staying is more palatable - or maybe a combination of both.