The number 8 represents balance, systems, regeneration and structure.  Swords represent reason, thought, logic, will, courage, verbal skill, matters pertaining to the mind and survival in the world and the element of air.  This card can often suggests that the querent is trapped by her own fears but has the ability to free herself. 

Last time I pulled this card I focused more on the image of Jocasta hanging amidst the swords with a devastated Oedipus sobbing at her feet.  To me that represents a rather bleak ending to the story; a drastic way to free yourself from your fears.  This time I'm looking at the image on the Fantastic Menagerie 8 of Swords.

This card shows a giraffe dressed in an old-fashioned, almost frumpy, skirt and wrap.  She is standing alongside a fence with her hands demurely crossed before her.  On the other side of the fence we see a creature staring at her as the giraffe stares shyly off into the distance.  At first I thought the giraffe was visiting a zoo or a garden or something but that doesn't quite fit with the meaning of the card.  Then it occurred to me - what if the giraffe is the one who is on exhibit, or fears that she is.  Then the sense of being trapped is being shown by the fence that surrounds her.  Of course the irony is that she could easily scale the fence if she wanted to, but instead she stands by as if helpless.

That is a fairly accurate description of how I felt at PAL for the past few months, even years.  It was as though I were doing everything I could not to draw attention to myself and trying to avoid making waves.  All that I succeeded in doing was fooling myself.  I let my fears drive me and the only place they drove me was crazy.  I'm not a demure, quiet person who works to maintain the status quo.  I am an outspoken person who always speaks her mind.  I may be wrong on occasion but, as anyone who knows me will say, you always know where you stand with me.  I'm not politically correct, tactful or diplomatic.  But I make up for that by having a sense of humor and a streak of integrity.  For me it was almost tortuous trying to keep a low profile.

I think that is another aspect of this card that I had missed before - trying to disguise your true nature because of fear or embarrassment.  I've seen in smaller doses when a woman hunches to hide her glorious height or dresses in baggy clothes to disguise her curvy figure.  I think it's even more destructive when someone tries to become someone that is not true to their nature.  I'm not talking about trying to "civilize" people - teach them them to be polite, open-minded, educated, etc.  I'm referring to people who are truly artistic trying to work in accounting because it is a steady, well-paying job.  Or someone who is interested in athletics getting a job in sales because that's what is available.

I am trying of trying to be a demure giraffe.  This is just not my nature.  I am a roaring lion who occasionally naps too long.  I don't pretend to like things or people when I really don't.  I don't pretend to think ideas are good when they aren't (at least in my opinion).  That is who I am (along with a bunch of other stuff) and if that means I don't fit in well with the new structure at PAL, well then c'est la vie!