Wands are associated with the element of fire as well as with inspiration, energy, intuition and creative imagination.  This suit often reveals something you "need to light a fire under".  The number 5 represents that added something that brings the situation out of balance again.  It represents the struggle and challenge of inner and outer growth.  This card can represent inspired chaos and freeing your expression and energy.  Challenging yourself to adapt and change; pushing yourself to adjust your self-image until it feels more positive or appropriate.  You might be experiencing self-doubt.  Whatever the worlds sees, you know you are changing yourself.

The image on the Fantasy Showcase card is strange and comic-bookish.  It shows five faceless white figures each holding a stake and mallet.  They walk along in step chasing a much smaller man who runs away from them in seeming terror.  A large number five shows in the sky and the bottom portion creates a crescent moon.  I can understand that feeling of trying to escape from something that looks like it's going to be painful.  There is something both comic and frightening about these five figures.  Their lack of facial features makes them inhuman and their positions make them seem like relentless pursuers.  They are unstoppable and there is no way to reason with them or appeal to them.  They have no pity or sympathy for the one they pursue.  Sometimes I can be like that too - relentless in my pursuit of something or when I'm judging someone.  The interesting part is that in reality my judgmental nature doesn't change anything.  I create situations for no reason and to no avail.  I can't change most of the situation.

On the Holy Grail card there are five young men, each armed with a staff, seeming ready to engage in a battle.  Is it a real battle?  Not necessarily but that doesn't mean someone couldn't get hurt.  That is the trouble with "fooling around" - the barbs can still hurt whether they are physical or verbal.  I can't count how many times I've been in situations where words said in jest or physical horsing round has resulted in serious damage.  The reality is that sometimes we hide the truth in comments or actions taken while we are just fooling around.  We take the opportunity to release that negative energy believing that the veneer of a joke with help us avoid a confrontation.  Most of the time we end up fooling no one.

So what am I struggling with right now?  What do I need to realize will not benefit from my taking any kind of action - whether verbal or physical?  The primary issue I'm concerned with right now is Sandy's situation with her marriage.  I don't know what the hell is going to happen with it and as much as I might like to hit her hubby in the head, that won't be helpful.  As tempting as it might be to hammer him down, the reality is that would serve no purpose.  As my hubby keeps reminding me - what happens if they manage to work things out.  Things I might say in the heat of anger will be remembered long after the anger passes.