"After taking some personal risks, you may be feeling the need to put intense energy into being with yourself and discovering your self.  You're so committed to your own growth and direction that you may be unaware of the rest of the world.  You may be strongly introverted now, or you may be exploring a part of your personality in a secret or hidden manner." Gail Fairfield

Knights symbolize protection, strength, ambition and questing.  Fire is associated with inspiration, energy, passion, feeling, enterprise, ambition, matters pertaining to the "spark of life", and the element of fire.  Typically this card refers to someone who is energetic and enthusiastic about life, heedlessly charging ahead in search of adventure and excitement.  The Knight of Wands can either represent qualities you possess or someone else in your life who possesses these qualities. 

This is the third time in the past two weeks that I've drawn this card.  Obviously I'm missing something.  I'm not sure if it's a comment on my lack of energy - and believe me over the last few days I've been very unenergetic.  I'm still wallowing in a sea of inaction and it's time to make some changes.  Of course as I've often pointed out in the past - change is not my forte.  I avoid it the way mice avoid cats. 

When I consider my aversion to change, I think it's a result of the fact that in my formative years change meant something bad.  We had to change residences a number of times and usually not because of positive factors.  From my perspective, that addition of a sister and two younger brothers to the family was not a good thing.  My father's constantly changing jobs were not usually the sign of something good.  Of course there were two positive changes I can thing of in my life.  One was changing schools from a public school to Sacred Heart.  I loved my teachers, the education I received and the friends I made there.  And when my father brought me to PAL that was a wonderful change.  I was able to explore and enjoy a wide range of activities and opportunities at PAL that I would not have experienced any other way.

Maybe I need to spend a bit more time focusing on the positive benefits I received from changes and various actions in my life rather than the negatives.  It's not necessarily about making changes in my life right now, maybe it's about changing my perception and attitude towards changes and various actions.  I need to focus on the positive benefits that can occur rather than dreading the negative ones.  It's about changing my mindset holding me back.  If I learn to take the chances and see what happens then at least I won't feel as frustrated and stifled.  I'm becoming  a prisoner of my own habits and fears.  I'm tired of it.  I don't like being worried and afraid.  The only way I can free myself is to open my mind to the potential and possibilities such actions and changes can bring.