Traditionally The Lovers, the 6th Major Arcana, represent choices, not only of a romantic nature but also of a life altering nature, and the coming together of opposites, polarities and opposition, the feminine and the masculine.  It represents the principle of relatedness and choice.  The Lovers is often seen to represent choices and paths we take in life.  It can also symbolize romantic partnership and alliances. 

The Celtic Wisdom card shows the goddess Nementona, Celtic goddess of the Sacred Grove.  She holds rowan berries in her hand and a black bird is perched on a branch in front of her.  A gold circlet rests on her brow and a golden torc rings her neck.  Her gown gown is earth-toned and fringed strips of varying shades of brown and red drape from the neckline.  Just over each of her shoulders the faces of two different male suitors is visible.   The grove is a sacred place where Druids gathered to honor their ancestors and gain knowledge.  The rowan has traditionally been associated for protecting is bearers from sorcery.

On the Zerner-Farber Lovers card we see a man and woman dancing.  Well I guess to be perfectly honest it looks as if they're just preparing to or have just finished dancing.  They are dressed in theatrical, ballet-like garb.  They are standing very close together but appear to be looking at something off in the distance  Cupid hover in the night sky above their heads.  Flowers are strewn on the ground at their feet.  In the foreground we see another ballerina slouching with her legs crossed.  She seems to be watching the duo.  Was she the partner who was not chosen?

The Lovers is often seen as representing just that - lovers.  However it is often seen as a card of cosmic or karmic choice.  The decisions we make in this situation will have ramifications that will continue being felt as we move further along in our lives.  Even when it comes to love, I see many people who select a partner based on appearance or lust.  These can be good reasons that may lead to a deeper and more lasting bond, but sometimes it doesn't.  As a result we see people who are seeking a divorce within a few years and now there are children left behind.  People love throwing around the phrase "the heart wants what it wants" but it's always seemed to me that this is an excuse for irresponsible behavior.  I often hear it used when one partner has become sexually attracted to someone else and wants to break up the relationship.  Unfortunately there is often no thought given to the long term affects of this choice. 

I can understand when a married couple feel the need to divorce.  I have the utmost respect for those who try to do it in a way that is healthy and beneficial for the children.  No child wants to feel like a pawn in the ongoing war between divorced parents.  At the same time, I have several friends who gave less thought into selecting the person they chose to have children with than they put into what color car to get.  Then a few years down the road when the passion is dead, they complain incessantly about what a jerk this person has turned out to be.  The rest of us always knew this person was a jerk, but saying that rarely helps because while in the throws of passion no one wants to listen to sense.  Or maybe it wasn't passion that caused this selection, maybe there were other subconscious factors like the fear of being alone or a desire to have children.  No one wants to fast forward to the unhappy ending.

I think that's the message of The Lovers reversed - that we (I) need to be careful and consider all my options before making choices and accepting that there are choices.  Sometimes I fall into a pattern (which I've heard others voice as well) that I have no choice here.  I must do this because no other options are available.  There are always options available.  We might not like those other options, but they exist.  For example, I had a choice in my former job.  I could tolerate the unhealthy situation that existed there or I could look for another job.  I tried to convince myself that I was too strongly connected to the agency and I couldn't leave it - what would it do without me.  But the reality is that it will fall or survive whether I am there or not.  I could not change anything about what was happening.  All I could change was my role in it.  I could take myself out of the equation.  Getting downsized forced me to see something about myself - I may not be as strong as I like to think.  I could not bring myself to walk away from what was obviously an unhealthy situation.  I have described my feelings since being downsized as escaping from an abusive relationship.  That makes me ponder what there is about me that would allow me to stay in any kind of abusive relationship - personal or professional. 

Like Nemetona, I offered my gifts to someone (someplace) that was not worthy and abused them.  Instead of moving on and finding a worthier recipient, I stayed and let it chip away at me, make me feel as though I was of no value.  It's a similar pattern as being in an abusive relationship and very devastating in its own way.  I hung on hoping things would get better and they didn't.  The one positive thing about the experience is that I am not vacillating; not looking to go back to that place.  I have moved on and I will find a way to create a healthy, positive and joyful life for myself sans PAL.  I will find another partner with whom to dance - one who appreciates my unique approach to the process (more enthusiasm than actual grace ;D).  And I will dance off into the sunset with my new partner or maybe just with myself.