Aces symbolize beginnings, the start of something new and the seed of new growth, feeling something new, maybe something you haven't felt before.  It might be a new emotion, a new relationship or a new awareness about an existing relationship.  The seed of love, anger, jealousy or another emotion has been planted.  Cups are associated with the element of water, with emotions, love, pleasure in life, matters pertaining to the unconscious, intuition and inner planes.   They represent the growth and awareness of the unconscious, emotional interactions and relationships with others.  Cups can also connect us with psychic activity and the Universe on an unconscious level.  The Ace of Cups traditionally refers to a new emotional connection, new insight about a relationship or new growth in an area that brings pleasure to your life. 

I had an amazing experience last night.  I decided to try one of Geraldine's suggestions and slept with the High Priestess card under my pillow last night.  I selected the High Priestess from the Celtic Tarots deck, which uses Bridget to represent the High Priestess.  I had amazingly vivid and rich dreams.  I wasn't able to clearly remember them but I remember having them (which is quite a start for me).  Tonight I'll sleep with this card under my pillow and see what messages I get from it.  This time I'll try to keep a notebook on my nightstand so that I can jot down some notes when I wake up.

Just looking at the cards I am struck by a sense of renewal and rejuvenation.  The Ace of Cups symbolizes both our emotional connection to our world and how those connections nurture and support us.  Research has found that people who are prayed for (whether they know it or not and whether or not they share the same faith) heal quicker.  This suggests that when the love and good intentions of others are aimed our way, we benefit.  At the same time if we wish to receive and benefit from this outpouring of healing energy and love, then we need to give too.  That is the balance; in order to receive we must be willing to give.

This lead me to wonder what I give to the world?  How do I emotionally and spiritually nurture it and those around me?  This can be a tough issue for me as I have always claimed to be very uncomfortable with Cups energy.  However as I become more comfortable with that side of my own nature I realize it's not that I don't like Cups energy, it's that I'm afraid being vulnerable to people.  In my life experience, being open and emotional with people can often lead to hurt and sadness.  Being open, especially in an intuitive and psychic sense, makes me feel defenseless.  In NYC being defenseless can be overwhelming and frightening.  It gives me a sense of having no boundaries.

Water is so amorphous and shapeless.  It does not respect or recognize borders.  It regularly floods over its boundaries and disregards whatever restrictions humans try to place on it.  I am afraid of becoming lost in that world of watery emotions and lack of boundaries and definition.  actually can be very generous and giving but I am always afraid of becoming swamped by the pain and sadness of the world.  I have often read that the children of alcoholics tend to be very sensitized to their environments and the feelings of those around them.  I know this is true because I have felt myself tense up in fear when I am in an angry setting.  I try to make myself pleasant and likeable to others and can be a "people pleaser".  At the same time I can't help but be myself which means that I often put my foot firmly in my mouth.

Overall, the sense I got from this card is that it is a symbol of my renewed love for Tarot and my Tarot tribe.  I often feel this way after returning from the Readers Studio or a Tarot conference.  I feel as though the Tarot is a true spiritual conduit for me.  It sneaks past my defenses and allows me to connect with my deepest innermost fears, hopes, and dreams.  I want to tap into my unconscious mind and explore the truths I sometimes hide from myself.  Perhaps the Ace of Cups is a sign that I am starting on a new journey into this territory and this time the journey will be one of joy, renewal and rebirth.  Maybe I'll finally grow more comfortable with that side of my nature and embrace its gifts instead of fearing them.