I find it interesting that I drew the Knight of Wands and 5 of Cups twice this week, both time reversed. I guess this is my reminder that I still have some areas I need to address and avoiding them doesn't make them go away.

Looking at the mandala created by putting these cards one atop the other I was struck by the story they tell. In many ways they tell the story of my journey since getting terminated from PAL. I was defensive and ready to do battle but at the same time I was emotionally bereft and felt as though I would never recover from this loss. Then I realized that starting over again and having faith in myself was the way for me to transform my life; to rise above the past and let go of that part of myself. I can use these experiences and these emotions to propel me to another level.

Like the figure in the 8 of Cups climbing towards that grail, I can build upon these emotions and experiences and use them to reach my goal. I will still have the ability to defend myself and watch my back if necessary (the Knight of Wands) and hopefully maintain my Foolish faith in myself. After all if I can't believe in myself then who can I believe in.

It's funny, as I was considering these cards this week they made me realize that sometimes I allow the keywords to guide how I interpret cards. I don't usually limit myself to that perspective but it does seem to frame how I approach the reading. I'm reading a book called Tarot - Talisman or Taboo by Mark Patrick Hederman and the author points out that once humans learned to read and write it completely shifted our view of the world and how we approach it. I tend to have a very intellectualized, rational approach to life and this often seeps over into my Tarot readings. I have come to realize that what I like about Tarot is that it is helping me strengthen my ability to receive information in a less linear fashion. Even looking at this mandala I realize that I am getting so much more from it than I am able to express verbally. I can see the story it tells and know that it is encouraging me to have hope and faith that this journey will end happily for me. How do I know this? I can't really say except that the cards told me so.