Aces symbolize beginnings, the start of something new and the seed of new growth, feeling something new, maybe something you haven't felt before.  It might be a new emotion, a new relationship or a new awareness about an existing relationship.  The seed of love, anger, jealousy or another emotion has been planted.  Cups are associated with the element of water, with emotions, love, pleasure in life, matters pertaining to the unconscious, intuition and inner planes.   They represent the growth and awareness of the unconscious, emotional interactions and relationships with others.  Cups can also connect us with psychic activity and the Universe on an unconscious level.  The Ace of Cups traditionally refers to a new emotional connection, new insight about a relationship or new growth in an area that brings pleasure to your life. 

Today I started reading a Dr. Phil book (yeah go figure) - The Ultimate Weight Loss Guide or something like that.  It's not so much a diet book as a guide to help change some of your attitudes about your body and about eating.  I haven't gotten that far into it yet but one thing that struck me as I was reading it is that your attitude to your body is what needs to change.  It doesn't matter which "eating plan" you follow, you won't be able to keep the weight off unless you come to terms with your physical reality.  This is not exactly ground-breaking news but for some reason it really clicked with me today.  It helped me realize that the new emotional connection I need is with myself. 

I also realized that I don't actually hate my body.  I may wish I were slimmer and in better shape, but I really don't hate my body.  What I hate is that it's almost impossible to find clothes that fit this body.  I like very classic styles in earth tones.  Good luck with that.  Most of the clothing in my size is in colors I won't wear (black, gray, navy, red and white).  Even when I find things I like, the proportions end up being all wrong for me.  I don't know why plus size clothing manufacturers thing all larger sized women at 6 foot tall.  It's bad enough that the inseam on pants is way too long but the rise is so long that the waist falls just under my chest.  I look like a 75 year old man.  I become very frustrated and infuriated.  I swear I think clothing manufacturers think all women are actually two dimensional.  It's frightening.

On another level, I think this card is a reminder to keep up the social connections I have made with people.  I have a really bad habit of not keeping in touch with people.  It's not that I don't want to but I'm not always comfortable talking on the phone.  I think I talk too much.  It's why I prefer using email - at least I don't feel that I'm interrupting their lives or taking them away from other things.  You can read an email at your own leisure.  I'm not too bad with chatting with folks in person because I can usually sense when I'm going overboard based on their body language.  I can't gauge that on the phone. 

The sense of joy and overwhelming love I get from these two Ace of Cups is almost tangible.  They make me feel that I have a lot to offer to others and that by not sharing it I am denying them a gift.  That might sound a bit arrogant but I don't mean it to sound that way.  I think the Tarot is reinforcing something that started at RS09.  I've waited and procrastinated long enough about setting myself up as a professional Tarot reader.  I have all the skills I need (not that I can't learn more) now it's time to apply them.  I think the key is accepting that I have a gift to offer to others.  I need to accept that not everyone will be open to my particular gift or they may not like how I wrap it, but there will be those who are receptive to it.  I know that I have a specific approach to life and to Tarot reading.  And there will be people open to exploring their situations using my approach.  But if I don't put myself out there I can't help anyone.  If I don't hold out that cup and say "here try this fabulous drink I make" then how can I be upset when no one tells me they like my brew.  It's simple really; as the NY Lottery says "you have to be in it to win it".  I have to put myself and my energy out there and accept that I might be rejected.  That's okay.  I don't think there is any one person that is loved by everyone.  Life is just not like that.  What I need to focus on is how I can start sharing my gifts with those who would be receptive to them.  And then to actually start doing it rather than just talking about it.