The Devil can sometimes represent the shadow side of our personality - that part of ourselves which we know exists but which we prefer not to acknowledge.  Or it may represent something that is keeping us bound and from which we need to break free.  The Devil is the 15th Major Arcana card.  This card is often about facing our shadow side and being willing to release ourselves from our self-imposed bonds.  But I also think it's about tricking ourselves and trapping ourselves as a result of these tricks.

The Challenger shows the familiar figure from the Gundestrop Cauldron often referred to as Cernunnos.  He is an antlered figure holding a torc in one hand and a ram-headed serpent in the other.  His legs seem to be moving towards the lotus position.  He is framed by a wreath of green leaves, possibly from a hazel tree.  Above him we see a larger figure reaching for what almost looks like an old rotary phone dial.  But instead of numbers we see human faces.  At the center of the dial we see another leaf.  The background of the card is a bright orange-red color.

Are the people on the wheel trapped in the cycle of reincarnation?  Are they trapped in an afterlife that is not what they had hoped?  Are they trapped in a cycle that forces them to keep repeating the same mistakes over and over?  Are they trapped by their own addictions and inner shadow?  I don't know.  But it seems to me that the key to getting out of this unending cycle lies with Cernunnos.  He sites in a center of a green and leafy bower.  There is growth and life with him, but at what price?  On the Gundestrop cauldron (from which this Cernunnos figure is taken) there is a larger figure that is plunging a line of men into a cauldron.  Is this the cauldron of rebirth?  Perhaps Cernunnos is the guide through that process.  The snake, another symbol of regeneration, might also connect this figure to rebirth, but in order to be reborn we must face our demons and be willing to go through a difficult process.  Perhaps the time is nearing when one skin will need to be shed so that another can grow.

the Zerner-Farber Devil shows a mask with gold decorative trim and a feathered headdress behind it.  It hovers over a scene decorated with vaguely Oriental style tapestries.  The eyes on the mask are closed and it appears that no one is behind it.  I see this as representing the fears we project onto others.  There isn't really anyone behind the mask but we set ourselves up with such self-doubts and inner demons that there doesn't need to be anyone behind that mask.  We become our own worst critics and our own worst enemy.

The Devil is reversed for me today.  To be perfectly honest, I didn't spend a whole lot of time pondering that significance.  I just took it for granted that one of the things I need to start focusing my energies on is facing my inner demons.  The only thing stopping me from starting to establish myself as a professional Tarot reader is my own self-doubts and fears.  I may claim that it's worries about what kind of clients I'll attract or if they'll be satisfied.  The truth is that I'll never know unless I try.  And I'll never try if I don't face those inner demons.  I can project all my doubts on some external source but the truth is I'm the only one holding onto that mask.  I'm the one spinning that wheel and staying stuck in the same cycle of self-doubt. 

I'm actually getting really tired of my own bullshit.  I know exactly how good I am at lying to myself, I've been doing it all my life.  The reality is that what holds me prisoner is my own fear of failure.  My personal history is one of fear of failure.  If I can't do something well after one or two tries, I give it up.  I wasn't that good at sports when I first played so I gave up trying.  I may be good at reading Tarot cards but I have no idea how good I am at doing readings for others, at least in person.  I am one of the worst types - even when folks tells me I did well, I put it down to them being friends of mine.  It's sort of like your mom telling you that you're pretty.  Why do I do this?  How the hell do I know, but I do know that I'm going to stop it.  I'm getting tired of it.  I know that until I'm fed up with something, until it really impacts me, I don't do anything to change it.  So I guess The Devil is the reminder that I need to stop spinning my own wheels and make whatever changes are necessary to start moving forward again.  Stop this crazy ride, I want to get off.