The number 3 symbolizes the generative force, creative power, multiplicity, and forward movement.  Cups are associated with the element of water, with emotions, love, pleasure in life, matters pertaining to the unconscious, intuition and inner planes.  It is about emotions flowing smoothly and moving forward, developing in a natural progression.  Emotions rise easily to the surface and into our awareness. 

The Fradella 3 of Masks shows 3 women holding up a large hourglass.  The top of the hour glass is adorned with three masks.  At first glance the three women look like they're working together to move the hourglass; combining their efforts to achieve a specific goal.  When you look close at the three women you realize that they represent the three Fates.  One is youthful, one is mature and one is older (often referred to as Maiden, Mother and Crone).  The do indeed work together to achieve a goal but that goal is the lifespans of humans.  I'm sure there is sometimes joy in their tasks and sometimes there is sorrow but I would hope that they are never unemotional about the process.

On the Anna K 3 of Cups we also see three women, all of comparable age, standing around a table full of abundant produce.  The women each hold a goblet in their hands and appear to be celebrating the bounty before them.  There is a sense that their joy and happiness are the result of their combined labors and efforts.  They express the sense of accomplishment, pride and fulfillment we feel from a job well done.

Of course the irony in light of this powerful and joyful card is that I drew it reversed.  Over the course of the day it became clear why this card was especially appropriate.  Things are reaching critical mass with the mother-in-law.  It is becoming more apparent with each day that even if she doesn't need to be put in a nursing home type setting, she needs assistance.  Just the day to day tasks she needs to do for Edward are becoming too much for her.  She becomes forgetful and panics.  She is lonely and wants company.  Even her daily grooming is becoming a challenge.  I don't think she's senile, just getting frail and lonely.  So I have been reaching out to various agencies in Orange County to find out what resources are available to them.

I started with DSS because they are the ones that oversee Edward's Medicaid benefits.  I explained that he needs to see a doctor (nothing serious but something that needs to be handled) and that getting him out of the house is impossible.  The person who oversees his case basically said there was nothing she could do him.  She referred me to the person in charge of Adult Protective Services.  He was very nice and understanding but couldn't help.  He referred me to a program called SNAP.  I completed a SNAP application online and received a letter saying no services could be provided until I attend an orientation.  The June session was on a day I could not make and the next session isn't until September.  So I called back my contact in the Adult Protective Services office.  He gave me the number of the person in charge of SNAP.  She basically confirmed that nothing could be done until a family member attends the orientation.  Then she mentioned that because Edward is on Medicaid DSS should provide a personal care assistant.  So today I reached out to DSS to find out about that.  The person who called me back asked me a few questions and basically said that without a doctor's approval they wouldn't help me.  I explained that it was impossible to get Edward out of the house but he really didn't care.  He suggested I contact SNAP.  I told him what they said and he basically shrugged.  At one point he asked if anyone had told Edward we were reaching out for a personal care assistant.  I told him no.  He replied that he would go no further until I told Edward.  I laughed and said Edward is deaf and severely retarded, how do you expect me to communicate this to him.  All I got was another shrug.  In frustration I called Nancy to see if she had any advice or guidance on what we could do.  We have an appointment to meet her Friday.

I just don't get it.  My mother-in-law has taken care of Edward his entire life.  She got him into special schools for the deaf and retarded children (of course now we'd call it developmentally disabled).  He attended school for several years but he was too deaf for the retarded school and too retarded for the deaf school.  They didn't teach him sign language because at that time (mid-70s) the move was to teach deaf children to speak.  The was impossible with Edward.  There weren't a lot of other resources available to him at that point.  Now, over 40 years later, she has no supports in place because she tried to do it on her own with help from her sister and husband.  They both died a few years ago.  John and I do what we can but once we go back to work we won't have the time to help and ironically we don't have the authority.  We are not Edward's or Smitty's legal guardians.  Her other son never visits and rarely calls and her two oldest grandsons are involved in their own lives and don't visit as often as they used to or call much.  As much as I hate getting the government involved we have no choice.  What is so frustrating and infuriating is that even when I try to get help I get the run-around.  I can't imagine what this must be like for an older person who is already feel vulnerable and overwhelmed. 

So my next few days will be spent trying to find a doctor that makes housecalls, reaching out to the local senior center to see if they have any resources and seeking legal advice from Nancy.  We are all aware that the outcome of all of these efforts may be unhappy.  It is likely the state will take Edward away and who knows what will happen to Smitty then.  Perhaps she will need to be put in a home and then the house and any assets she has become a target for them.  It just sucks.  Aging is hard enough without having to deal with more government bureaucracy, especially for a generation of Americans that prided themselves on not seeking government assistance and hand-outs.  That is the reversed 3 of Cups for me today - all those efforts and labors will probably result in a sad and unhappy outcome for all concerned.  All I can do is try my best to see that it doesn't happen.