The number 5 represents that added something that brings the situation out of balance again.  It represents the struggle and challenge of inner and outer growth.  Cups are associated with emotions, love, pleasure in life; matters pertaining to the unconscious, intuition and the inner planes, and the element of water.   This card often symbolizes the need to let go of our emotional connection to something that has passed out of our lives. 

On the Universal Fantasy 5 of Cups there is a man with his back to the viewer looking out a castle window.  He wears what looks like odd gold armor over his robes.  His hands rest on the windowsill and he appears to be viewing his kingdom.  On his right are two upright gold chalices and to his left are three spilled chalices.  For some reason this scene makes me think that he has poisoned enemies; that he has removed those who would block him from achieving his goals.  As a results of this willingness to do whatever it takes to protect his kingdom or achieve his goals, he has lost part of himself.  He can no longer afford to let sentiment and emotion sway him.  He has become like Michael Corleone at the end of The Godfather - all of his ideals and beliefs have crumbled under the reality of what he felt he needed to do.

The Ma'at 5 of Cups shows a women sitting beneath a tree with her head resting upon her knees in despair.  To her left are three overturned chalices while two upright ones rest on the stone wall behind her.  A squirrel forages for food amongst the overturned chalices.  Behind her is a tree full of soft pink blossoms.  Four ravens are perched in the branches of the tree.  It seems apparent she has lost something dear to her.  She is so busy mourning its loss that she can focus on nothing else.  She is lost within her own sorrow and pain.  She is unable to look up and enjoy the beauty of the blossoms on the tree or laugh at the antics of the squirrel or even appreciate the talkativeness of the ravens.  She is wrapped up in her own loss and sorrow.

For some reason the fives have reminded me of situations with my mother-in-law.  The struggles and pain that can go along with growing older and being alone.  Rather than focusing on what is going wrong with her (which is all to easy to do), today we spent some time just appreciating what she does still have.  As the day goes on, her mind becomes clearer and she's funny and gives us a run for the money.  She gets cranky and bristles when her son tries to tell her what to do.  If she's not ready to eat, then don't try to make her.  She does spend a lot of time remembering the past but that doesn't seem unusual to me.  Every so often she'll surprise us and take a walk to the local deli for her newspapers.  I keep hoping as the weather gets nicer she'll spend some time sitting there and chatting with the owner.  He seems to have a fondness for her and at least them she'll get some human contact.  I know she wants her family around her but that's just no possible all the time.

I'm also grateful that we are able to have the time right now to help deal with this.  If John and I were working this would all be so much more difficult.  I'm hoping we are able to resolve this situation in a way that does not create upheaval in her life.  All we want is someone to help her around the house a bit and with Edward.  Trying to get help from the system is an exercise in futility.  I'm sure we'll get it figured out eventually but goodness it is so frustrating.  I'm trying to keep the message of the 5 of Cups in my heart and focus on the positives.  Otherwise it's so easy to drown in the negatives.  And that won't help anyone.