Queens are associated with inner and personal control, competency, maturity, introspection, self-awareness, nurturance, healing and fulfillment.  Cups are associated with the element of water, with emotions, love, pleasure in life, matters pertaining to the unconscious, intuition and inner planes.  The Queen of Cups may be devoted to the needs of family and friends, and at her best shows a radiant, compassionate heart.  She is intuitive and able to tune in to the emotional needs of others.  She's a dreamer who can turn her imaginings into creative activity.  Reversed she can symbolize someone who indulges in emotional outbursts and a martyr complex in a quest for sympathy.  She can also become manipulative on an emotional level if she is unable to channel her energies into a productive outlet.

On the Fradella Adventure Queen of Masks we see the figure of Courtesan (I'm guessing her occupation fits her name).  She is a dark-haired siren wearing a light purple dress that is both concealing and revealing at the same time.  She holds a mask over the right side of her face.  A waterfall pours down behind her and she stands thigh deep in a pool of water.  He expression is one of both knowledge and sorrow.  On the Anna K Queen of Cups is a blonde woman garbed in a long deep blue gown.  A silver crown adorns her brow and she holds a gold chalice in her hand.  Her forehead rests upon the chalice as though in sorrow or deep thought.  She sits on a rocky outcropping under the crescent moon as her feet and left hand dangle in the water.  She appears thoughtful and pensive.

I think these ladies are trying to tell me to focus on my internal need for emotional nurturing and self-awareness.  I have been working on some self-healing and self-fulfillment over the past few weeks but it has often gotten derailed by the stress of the situation with my in-laws.  Now that we are at least starting to resolve that issue perhaps I'll have more time to focus on my own needs for healing, love and pleasure.  In some ways my husband and I are behaving in ways that have stressed other marriages - we are so focused on the needs of others that our own needs have been put on the back burner.  Even something as simple as going away for a weekend has been impossible for some time now.  That makes me sad.  We are losing sight of the joy in life because we are so focused on this situation with his family.  I am hoping that by finding externals resources to help us deal with this situation we will be able to put some more energy and attention into our relationship.  We both need a break. 

I have considered taking a trip to NYC for a few days just to relax and catch up with friends but I would feel terrible leaving him here to deal with all of this on his own.  We are partners and we need to support each other right now.  At the same time we need to continue nurturing and tending our relationship otherwise that will wither.  Neither of us wants that to happen.  I think the reversed Queen of Cups is a wake-up call reminding me of that old adage "physician, heal thyself".  We can be there to nurture and support others if we aren't taking care of our own needs first.  That has to become a priority.

On a slightly different note (and tangentially related to Courtesan, the Fradella Queen of Cups), I started reading M.R. Sellars book Love is the Bond, the first book in the Rowan Gant/Miranda trilogy.  The killer is a dominatrix.  I haven't gotten far enough yet to know what her particular kink is but she is definitely twisted.  I think her energy reminds me must more of a reversed Queen of Wands - using her sexual energy for dominance and to abuse, degrade and eventually kill her victims.  At the same time I  think some of the folks that would be attracted to that energy (or the submissive partner) might have some reversed  Queen of Cups energy (or King of Cups I suppose).  They completely subsume their need for love, support and nurturance by submitting to the will of the dominant partner.  I see this from a less sexually fetishistic perspective in some abusive relationships.  The abused partner has such low self-esteem and weak boundaries that she (or he) allows the more dominant partner to rule every aspect of their lives.  They have such a fragile sense of self that they accept the partner's abuse as a form of love.  It is a sad and tragic situation that occurs much to often.  It is as if they cannot meet or even accept their need to nurture and love themselves.  They feel as if they are worthless and as a result find a partner who reinforces that paradigm.  This feels like a very negative expression of the Queen of Cups energy to me.  In fact I think it's one of the reasons I so avoided the Queen of Cups.  I associated that dysfunctional, fragile and sometimes clingy personality to the Queen of Cups.  I didn't realize it was more likely a weakened or negative manifestation of her glorious rich and wonderful energy.  I am so glad I have come to appreciate her value and blessings, even if it is a little late in the game.