Sixes symbolize the union of opposites, finding equilibrium, harmony in the face of constant change.  Wands are associated with inspiration, energy, passion, feeling, enterprise, ambition, matters pertaining to the "spark of life", and the element of fire. 

"You've met the challenge to your identity and come through it.  Now, the self you're presenting to the world is more confident and stable.  You feel more secure with your identity and sense of purpose or personal direction.  You're settling into the groove of being this self." - Gail Fairfield

Another reversed Wand.  Lately, sometimes I feel as if all the life in my, all my creative energy and inspiration is being snuffed out.  The situation with my in-laws is getting worse.  Today we learned that hubby's older brother has been calling their mom at least once a week and half the time she doesn't know who he is.  Why he didn't bother to let us know about this is beyond me but that's the way it goes sometimes.  All of this shit is going to fall on us because the bottom line is that we're the only ones who will face the unpleasant duty of having them put in a home.  It infuriates me because I know it's tearing John up inside.  He can't sleep and he can't focus.  He's devastated about having to make this decision.  And the people in his family who should be there to support and help him (his brother and nephews) have basically thrown it back in our laps.  Our friends and my family are being more supportive with this than anyone on his side of the family. 

I want to be strong for him but the reality is that I hate this situation as much as he does.  We seem to be taking turns breaking down and crying.  The "system" can only do so much (I may be frustrated by this but I realize that most bureaucratic nonsense came into being for a reason).  This is not a decision that should be made by only one member of the family, but it looks like that's the way this is going down.  It becomes clearer with each day that she can't be alone anymore.  If we can't find some type of support to help her in the house then we'll have no other option but to put them both in a home.  The sad thing is that Edward is really in the same condition that he's always been, it's just that Smitty can't take care of him anymore.  So if we can't get the help, he'll have to be put in some type of facility too.

There are no victors in this situation.  As much as we keep trying, I think this may be one of those situations that we can't fix and we can't win.  We have found our personal Kobayashi Maru scenario and I don't think Capt. Kirk could snatch a victory from the jaws of defeat.  There is no equilibrium, no harmony here.  No matter how much feeling and energy we put into it, we can't make Smitty better.  Whatever is happening to her just seems to be moving towards an inevitable conclusion.  We can't stop it and we can't fix it.

It also gets complicated by the well intended recommendations of people who have dealt with the system.  Some of them have had much more positive experiences than we have and others have a very different set of circumstances.  On some level, the reason for this defeat is because the foundation upon which we are working is shaky.  The family dynamic was one of "rugged individualism" and almost isolation.  The in-laws didn't believe in taking hand-outs and didn't like having strangers in their house.  As a result the services they could have received for Edward were never considered.  Had he already been in some of those programs, this would be a very different ballgame.  Unfortunately that isn't how this particular game is being pitched.  I guess all we can do is the best we can and see how it goes from there.  It's not fair; it's not fun and it doesn't make anyone emerge victorious.  All that's left are a bunch of wounded and beaten survivors.