The number 8 represents balance, systems, regeneration and structure.  Swords represent reason, thought, logic, will, courage, verbal skill, matters pertaining to the mind and survival in the world and the element of air.  This card can often suggests that the querent is trapped by her own fears but has the ability to free herself. 

At first I couldn't see what this card was trying to tell me.  I haven't been any more tied up and trapped lately than I usually feel.  Then as I was sitting here browsing the internet it hit me - my doll obsession.  I had already decided not to attend the upcoming Wu Convention for a number of reasons; one of which is expense.  Then I got caught up in the craziness of the collection and was emailing friends to see if they would get dolls for me.  When I looked at the bound woman on the Druid Craft 8 of Swords it hit me - this is me.  I am letting my almost compulsive need to own the dolls drive me over the edge.

The reality is that I have more dolls than I know what to do with.  I think they are all beautiful and I enjoy redressing them and taking photos of them.  Lately I have not been giving as much attention to the dolls I already have as I should be.  I am so focused on getting the next one that I haven't stopped and taken a breath.  If I did I would realize that most of the "new" ones are variations on older ones.  There is nothing wrong with that but do I really need 20 redhead dolls whose only difference is haircut and makeup?  I don't think so.  It's almost a disease.  The idea of missing a doll sends me into a panic.  What I don't know is why this happens.

I can speculate all day on my doll collection being a way of making up for what I didn't have as a child but the reality is this obsession is not limited to dolls.  I have over 200 Tarot decks and more books than some small libraries.  Do I need all of these things - obviously I don't.  And I'm not the kind of person who gets caught up in the idea of having the newest things that comes on the market.  Many of my dolls are older ones I bought because I loved their face or they reminded me of a childhood doll.  In many cases I'm not even aware what Tarot deck or book is currently being published.  Maybe I have a touch of "completism".  Whether I will actually use an item or not I get stuck in a place where I must have all of them.  Why?  No clue. 

I may not understand all of the forces driving me in this behavior but I do know one thing - I can stop it.  So I decided that there is one doll from this convention collection that I would really love to own.  She is a smaller version of a 16" doll that I think is gorgeous.  I hope she is as lovely as the original.  If so, I will be more than content to add her, and only her, to my collection.  As for the other dolls, if I am meant to own them they will find their way into my collection.  I am cutting the bonds of this compulsive behavior and freeing myself.  I need to look around an enjoy what I have, not worry about what might be released in a few weeks.