Knights represent pure energy, focused, intense and active, protection, strength, ambition and questing.  Cups represent emotions, love, pleasures in life, matters pertaining to the unconscious, intuition and the inner planes; the element of water.  The Knight of Cups is often referred to as the Grail Knight, the knight in search of inner truth and emotional fulfillment.  It can also suggest that one is so focused on one emotional experience or relationship to such a degree that all others are blocked out.

I've always had a fondness for the Prince/Knight of Cups.  He always struck me as the dreamy Prince Charming I grew up reading as a child.  He sallies forth on a quest for true love and when he finds it he does whatever it takes to win her.  In fact the Wesley character in The Princess Bride reminds me of a Prince of Cups.  He completely transforms himself and his life in order to win his beloved Buttercup.  This prospect becomes especially daunting when he returns to find her engaged to Prince Humperdink.  And yet despite the odds that face him, Wesley overcomes all obstacles and wins his true love.

There is an idealism and a dreamy quality in the Prince of Cups but this is tempered by a core of determination and fire.  He is able to accomplish amazing things because his soul burns so brightly that he refused to accept defeat.  His inner flame functions as something of a purifying agent, burning away the dross and flaws that might cause him to stumble or fail.  He is pure of heart and love is his guiding star.  I almost envy his conviction and his determination.  I can't remember the last time I felt that kind of concentrated devotion for anything.  Actually maybe what I should say is that I don't focus on it in the same way.

It occurs to me that is what I need to focus on - rekindling and reconnecting with that sense of pureness of heart and spiritual devotion to anything.  There are a few interests that I have for which I can feel that kind of love and devotion.  Actually I feel it for my husband even after 26 years.  I used to feel that kind of belief, faith and devotion for my work but that died a lingering death after several years of working with people who put dollars ahead of doing what was right.  I do feel it for the Tarot but sometimes that devotions becomes a dim flicker when I feel overwhelmed by life.  I also need to reconnect with my spiritual path.  I do find it a source of spiritual nourishment but, again, it's something that is easily overlooked when "stuff" gets in the way. 

This also connects with the message I got from the 4 of Swords the other day - I need to reconnect with my inner self, my emotional core, my true heart.  What is it that I truly love (aside from my husband and family)?  Sometimes I don't even know anymore.  I distract myself with toys and things instead of what is truly important to me.  I have spent a lot of time trying to learn who the "real me" is - that is what I have been on a quest to find.  I'm trying to court my true self and encourage her to express herself.  My true inner self is softer than the me I usually show the world.  Not that my outer persona isn't also a part of me, it's just not the only part.  Sometimes I look sight of that fact.  I am as sarcastic and snarky an individual as has ever lived, but I'm a lot more than that.  I just don't feel the need to show that side of myself to all and sundry.

Perhaps what my Prince of Cups is searching for is the path to my true heart.  That path is probably strewn with hedges full of prickly thorns and fire-breathing dragons but I have faith that if I stay the course I'll find my way to the center of the maze and release that softer, gentler person I know is hiding within.  Maybe I need to lure her out with beautiful music and flowers.  It's actually a scary prospect.  I'd rather face fire-breathing dragons than expose my soft underbelly, but what would life be without taking chances and risks?