The number nine is the number of the wisdom of the Moon.  It is also a mathematically magical number - its square root is three and the sum of any number multiplied by nine equals nine when added together (e.g.. 9 x 8 = 72, 7 + 2 = 9).  Nines can represent struggle, attainment, and having the end in sight.  Wands are associated with inspiration, energy, passion, feeling, enterprise, ambition, matters pertaining to the "spark of life", and the element of fire.  This card often represents having gone through a difficult struggle or battle. 

"You are well-integrated into the roles you're playing and the selves you're presenting to the world.  Others see that you are acting naturally in accordance with your true being.  You're making steady progress by being this self.  The full range of your personality is revealed as you interact with the world." - Gail Fairfield

"Though injured and fatigued, the heroine remains vigilant.  She knows the dark skies will clear up.  Though yellow signifies warning or fear, it also bring optimism and energy.  Courage in the face of confrontation, vigilance, order and discipline, preparation for conflict." - Paulina LWB

Before metamorphosis.  The accumulation of energy that precedes great metamorphosis.  Desires that were unclear until now are realized." - Metamorphosis LWB

Somehow when I saw this card it made me think that the tough times are nearing an end.  The battle is almost over, over the toughest part might lie just ahead.  Looking at the image on the Metamorphosis 9 of Wands I was struck by the sense of new souls waiting to be born - hovering on the Tree of Life until it is their turn.  And if you think about it -- what is birth but a struggle.  The figure on the Paulina 9 of Wands looks like a warrior battling a super scorpion or insect.  She might be small but that she is determined enough to best this creature.

Again, this card is reinforcing the message I've been receiving over the past few days.  It's becoming apparent that if I don't choose to take steps to change the situation, I will be forced into it.  I've rested long enough and now it's time to enter the fray once again.  On one level this means that it's time to get serious about job hunting.  On another level I think it's telling me that it's time to get more serious about a few others things like my health.  If I want to be fit and strong enough to battle against whatever life throws at me then I need to be in shape for it.  That is not going to happen unless I treat my health like a gift that I need to cherish.

For too long I have taken it for granted.  Yes, I have Type II diabetes but it's never really caused any major problems for me in the past.  Of course as I get older that is likely to change.  After all nothing in life is ever stagnant for long and if it doesn't change for the better then it might change for the worse.  So I have taken one step that should help in this area - I joined Weight Watchers online and a Yahoo support group.  I have to admit I'm loving the recipes I've found on the website.  I've also been good about recording what I've been eating.  I'm probably about 90% accurate at this point but that's better than nothing.  I've even been honest about all my little snacks here an there.  I'm realizing that is my downfall.  Individually they may not do much damage but collectively, they're dynamite.

Perhaps this is the struggle symbolized by the 9 of Wands - the struggle to take control of my health and improve my diet.  Of course I want to lose weight - I'm as vain about my appearance as anyone else.  I want to be able to shop in the regular Misses department.  At the same time I want off these damn meds.  If that's not possible then I'd at least like the dosage lowered.  That's is an achievable goal.  So I am determined that this time I am going to do it.  The creature I am battle is the snack monster - my insatiable need to eat sweets.  I know there are a lot of psychological issues that go along with my over-eating.  But quite frankly I have a lot of psychological issues in a number of areas of my life and I've managed to overcome them without therapy.  So I'm sure I can do this too.  I'll devour a bunch of self-help books and cookbooks (I love any excuse to get new cookbooks and recipes), seek support online and just dig in my heels and let my stubbornness work for me.  Lookout snack monster - I'm coming for you!!