Aces symbolize beginnings, the start of something new and the seed of new growth.  Pentacles are associated with the material world, acquisitions of wealth and possessions, our connection to Earth and Nature, sensation, matters pertaining to the physical plane and the element of earth.  Pentacles can also be connected with practicality, groundedness and being realistic. 

Ace of Pentacles reversed may indicate being so focused on holding on to what you have that you have failed to recognize the needs of those around you, especially needs for material aid; a false or premature sense of security; extreme competition where financial gain is concerned; blinding ambition; and reluctance to “leave the garden” and make our own way.

"You can potentially create a new form or level of safety and stability in your life.  You could experience a new kind of groundedness or centeredness.  you may feel the stirrings of a new connection with natural, earthy forces." - Gail Fairfield

I'm starting to get a sense of blockages and "nots" going on here.  What is not growing and expanding in my life?  What new opportunities are not manifesting?  Where am I  not being grounded and realistic?  Sometimes I feel as though my potential is simply rotting underground rather than bursting forth with new growth and new potential.  I feel as though I'm hidden in the dark and unable to break free into the light.  I'm surrounded by darkness and still can't find my way back into the sun.

Maybe I'm simply still in a gestational period.  It's not that I'm stuck underground, it's that I'm not fully matured enough to burst forth and bloom.  Of course this is complicated by my impatience and desire for things to manifest immediately.  I have issues with the concept of delayed gratification.  Sometimes I can be unrealistic in my expectations and think results should be immediate.  Then there are other things that I am more than willing to work hard to achieve. 

So then I have to consider am I deliberately neglected whatever this is; not tending it and nurturing it so it will grow?  The reality is that in order to manifest anything positive in our lives, we need to tend it and care for it; whether it's a relationship, a job or a new project.  Many of these things have withered and died as a result of neglect or improper care.  So if it's not blooming forth I have to consider whether it's due to my lack of careful tending.  What am I afraid will happen if I allow this growth and expansion to finally bloom and reach its full potential?  Well the first thing would be changes.  And as I've said before, I don't often deal well with changes.  If I want to work through my own discomfort I have to figure out how to make those changes work in my favor and happen at a pace I can handle.  The key to that is to make sure I anticipate the changes and don't let them overwhelm me.  I have to be careful not to overfeed it but I also don't want to ignore it.

So the bottom line is that I need to address my fears about change and trying new things.  I need to look at that darkness and deal with what I find there.  It may ultimately free me from this cage into which I seem to have trapped myself.  I am feeling suffocated and stifled and the only way to break free is to let these changes occur and to prepare myself to handle them.  Maybe that should be what I get my doctoral degree in - change.