Pages symbolize messengers, youth, innocence, opportunities for change, new possibilities, new growth, new experiences, acquisition of knowledge and expression of new emotions, risk-taking, grace, and art.  Cups represent emotions, love, pleasures in life, matters pertaining to the unconscious, intuition and the inner planes; the element of water.  

"You are taking an emotional risk in a public, up-front way.  You've chosen to jump in and commit to an emotional direction or relationship even though you're not sure where it will lead.  You may have had a relationship that was working pretty well on a certain level.  Now,you want to make it better than "okay".  You're willing to risk losing what already exists in order to create what it could become.  It may feel a little scary but you have some confidence that it will succeed." - Gail Fairfield.

This is the second time I've drawn this card this month.  Obviously the Page of Ghosts' energy is one I really need to focus on right now.  Just off the top of my head I am struck by the sense of youth and effervescence this card can represent.  I know that Cups are often connected to relationship and emotional issues.  I don't know if that's the focus of this card right now.  As I am sitting here writing this it hit me that what I need to receive is a message from my heart.  I have been allowing myself to float in a state of limbo because I just couldn't find the energy and interest in figuring out my next direction.  I have been avoiding looking inside myself because I had some instinct as to what the answer would be and I've been trying to put off the inevitable.

I realize now (as though a veil has been lifted from my eyes) that what is hidden behind the clouds on the Daughter of Chalices is not something something terrifying - it's my future.  Well okay, maybe that is somewhat terrifying but it's also exhilarating and wondrous.  There is something so frightening about feeling as though your coming into your own; beginning to claim your own power.  I am not a victim.  In fact I've lived my life determined never to be a victim again.  And yet I've let myself be victimized by this situation; letting it keep me in a funk.  Perhaps the reality is that I needed a long incubation period because this transformation is going to be a major one.

It's very ironic that I'm having this epiphany or metanoia just as I'm finishing up my Masters in Public Administration.  If these changes take the direction I hope for, I may never use that degree in a professional capacity.  That doesn't mean I won't use it at all, but it may not be what determines my next career choice.  I feel as if I'm finally ready to shed the shroud I've been hiding under but it's scary.  The process of incubation has been a bit painful and I think I still bear some scars.  However I'm also learning to be more comfortable with my Cups nature.  I'm finally able to embrace my emotional side and see the strength that it offers rather than its weakness or negative energies.

I'm not sure how long this process will take to reach completion but I know it's not done yet.  I think the reason I drew the Page is because I'm just starting on this journey and learning to listen to my deepest instincts and emotions.  Right now I admit that I'm scared and feeling very vulnerable - rather like a turtle that has shed its shell.  However I also have faith that I can deal with these changes and will grow stronger and find my life enriched by the results.