Tarot Broad's Buzz

Moving the blog

2011-05-25T03:59:00Z

For any and all who remain interested in my little blog, it is moving.

I have upgraded to Wordpress. Although it's still under construction, the Tarot Broad's Buzz can now be found here: http://tarotbroad.com/

COTD - Ace of Pentacles/Clouds (Fenestra & Dante)

2011-05-20T22:35:11Z

Aces symbolize beginnings, the start of something new and the seed of new growth. Pentacles are associated with the material world, acquisitions of wealth and possessions, our connection to Earth and Nature, sensation, matters pertaining to the physical plane and the element of earth. Pentacles can also be connected with practicality, groundedness and being realistic.

"You are planting seeds for a new home, job, career, or form of security. You may be getting a new sense of how to work with money , and finances. You may be getting some urges to begin a new physical regime or a new direction in your health." - Gail Fairfield

Dante LWB: "The Celestial Pilot. Change of environment. Modernization of space and ideas."

When I drew this card the first thing that popped into my head is "new income" and "manifesting new things in my life". In the words of the Laverne & Shirley theme song, I'd be "making my dreams comes true". The Ace of Pentacles is often about new opportunities to make money, improve one's wealth and prosperity or to manifest new things in one's life. It may also symbolize a new time for practicality and being realistic. Sometimes when we want to manifest our dreams into reality we don't have a realistic viewpoint about what is achievable. The reality is that there are some things in life that are beyond our control or our ability to make true. And I an accept that, even while it frustrates me.

I love the image on the Dante Ace of Clouds. That figure standing on the prow of the boat seems to be actively seeking his future and is prepared to chart his course in the direction he wants it to go. He is prepared and capable of creating his future; manifesting his desired reality. The image reminds me a bit of the famous scene from Titanic with Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet standing on the prow (or is it bow) of the ship. They give the viewer the sense that the future is theirs to create and a lifetime of potential and possibilities lie ahead. The Ace of Pentacles is a symbol of hope, potential and limitless possibilities just waiting to be manifested in our lives.

Perhaps it is also a reminder that it might be a good idea to establish a new connection or renew my commitment to healing my physical self. I have been working on developing a healthier, more sensible eating plan. I was doing good for several weeks but I've been back-sliding a bit lately. I think it's time to refresh my brain cells on why this change is important and beneficial to me. I realize that it's like anything else - I need to occasionally sharpen the saw so that it's fresh and easily accessible.

So this card offers a new opportunity to start anew; to refresh some things that I've lost contact with and to manifest these blessings and concepts in my life. It's about being sensible and grounded - not losing myself in a cloud of optimistic daydreams. It's good to be hopeful and have faith but it's also important to maintain touch with reality.

COTD - King of Cups/Lights (Fenestra & Dante)

2011-05-19T15:22:14Z

Kings are associated with control, mastery, discipline and resolve. Cups represent emotions, love, pleasures in life; matters pertaining to the unconscious, intuition and the inner planes, and the element of water. The King of Cups is both a romantic, loving person who does not let his emotions lead him down the wrong path. He has enough life experience to know that while he desires love and pleasure in life sometimes that can lead to unhealthy choices.

"An emotion has run its course and is no longer operative in your life. This could mean that a relationship is ending. This old pattern has become a habit that is no longer meaningful or satisfying. Nothing can be done now to retain or reclaim the vigor of the original feelings. You need to make some real or symbolic gesture that shows you're reached a point of closure or completion around this feeling or relationship. You may need to fully experience your grief and mourn its passing." - Gail Fairfield.

Looking at these two cards I see two very different images. The Fenestra King of Cups looks rather elf-life, almost androgynous. And yet he stills conveys a sense of strength and mastery. He is holding the cup and calmly stands there while a wave appears to be cresting next to him; ready to wash him away if he's not careful. The King of Light in the Dante Tarot is an abstract image. I almost get the sense of one's soul being prostrate before the divine power present in the light hovering overhead. Eyes seem to peer out from the midst of the abstract light as though observing the figure beneath, ready to assess the soul within. Again, despite not having a familiar human form, this card is able to convey a sense of power and mastery.

In the Dante LWB the King of Lights is described as "The Everlasting Light. Old man. Just, feared, and respected professional." That certainly fits the sense I get from this card - as thought that light is a stern but fair mentor judging our progress. I get the sense this light can see through our physical body, through the facade we present to the world and see directly to the soul within. Although the light looks intimidating, I get the sense that its goal is not punishment but correction and guidance. It is seeking out the flaws and weaknesses within the soul beneath so that it can offer guidance and ways to heal those weaknesses and erase those flaws.

So am I the judge or the one being judged? It's never really that simple is it? In reality, each time we judge someone else without compassion or understanding (certainly traits I would attribute to the suit of Cups), we are saying more about ourselves than we are about that person. I have sometimes seen the King of Cups described as the counselor or psychologist card. It represents a figure who is able to control or master his or her own emotions and as a result can now offer to guide others along this same path. That doesn't mean the King of Cups doesn't feel, indeed I get the sense he feels deeply, but that he does not lose himself within those emotions. He does not allow them to subsume him and wash him away. It is possible that he has gone through this experience in the past and has learned techniques to prevent it from happening again.

In the past, I have been very vocal about my avoidance of and aversion to the suit of Cups. In fact a running joke during one past Readers Studio was that I had a "yuck" reaction each time a Cups card appeared for me (which of course meant they appeared with frightening frequency). Since that time I have come to appreciate and value Cups energy in my life. My avoidance was due to the fact that in my past experience, emotions, intuition and other Cups energies were used to manipulate and control. In a relationship, they were used to earn points and dominate. I found this stifling and infuriating. Nothing could have been better designed to trigger my aversion reaction.

As I grow older and (hopefully) mature, I'm realizing that this type of behavior is unhealthy and actually an expression of negative Cups energy (or maybe that's a negative expression of Cups energy). I've been blessed to make a number of friends over the years who have manifested a positive Cups energy in my life. They have shown me the strength in water and the blessings of emotional ties. They have helped me learn that it can enrich and enhance your life and doesn't have to be perverted for personal power.

So maybe one of my tasks today is to manifest this wonderful, positive and powerful energies for those in my life. How can I be a King of Cups to my friends, loved ones and community today? I'm not sure yet but we'll see how it goes.

COTD - King of Pentacles/Man of Painting R (Hudes & Blake)

2011-05-19T00:50:00Z

Kings are associated with control, mastery, discipline and resolve. Pentacles are associated with the material world, acquisitions of wealth and possessions, our connection to Earth and Nature, sensation, matters pertaining to the physical plane and the element of earth. Pentacles can also be connected with practicality, groundedness and being realistic. The King of Pentacles represents someone solid, reliable, mature and comfortable with his physical nature. He may also be very materially comfortable. This is a person who is comfortable with his authority and able to use it with common sense and practicality. This card is someone who is at home with his material world and comfortable with the sensuous, physical side of human nature. He is a master of all he surveys and understand how to work with his environment.

"This shows an end to a physical, material, or financial patterns in your life. There is no point in re-committing resources, physical energy, or money to this project. It is important to recognize that your investment in this security pattern has run its course. It is time to take some action to end the old pattern, and withdraw from your involvement in that direction." - Gail Fairfield

In the Blake LWB, Ed Buryn writes "In the creative process: Test and refine your ideas or product to see if it works as planned; be practical yet innovative."

Looking at this card I got the sense that I have the potential to become the master of my financial fate and manifest the kind of prosperity and abundance I need in my life. I have the ability to paint my own reality and have it be as colorful and brilliant as I desire. However I still have some obstacles to overcome. The positives about this situation are that I now realize that I don't need to "have it all" to be happy and that I actually don't need as much stuff to be happy as I used to believe. I also know that I don't have to have just one job, I can try a few different careers that allow me more freedom and flexibility. There is also a reminder that I need to reallocate resources in a way that is more likely to manifest the future I want and generate the ending I need. I need to incorporate a practical and yet innovative approach to my future and how I want to generate income.

On both these cards I love the sense have the ability to create their own reality. The Hudes King of Pentacles stands before a map of the world - he can go anywhere he chooses. The Man of Painting is able to bare himself, expose his inner, true self and still feel in control and confident about what he will create by doing this. Both are wonderful examples of the quiet, self-confidence the King of Pentacles possesses that allows him to manifest his dreams and desires into reality.

I know that with my degrees and experience, if I put the time and effort into searching for a more traditional job I could probably find one in a few months. It might not be a perfect fit but it would probably be something I am quite capable of doing and wouldn't bore me. However I think part of what this card is reminding me is that I want to be the king of my own domain; the master of my own money. I don't want to depend on anyone else, be at someone else's whims anymore. I want to be able to stand or fall on my own.

That doesn't mean I have to do it alone, it simple means that I will need to become more independent and decisive about things. To paraphrase Harry Truman, "the buck stops here". Whether I am successful or not will be more directly dependent upon my own actions. Too often in the past, I've been able to minimize the consequences of my goofing off because I was willing to put in the extra time and effort necessary to make sure I eventually corrected the situation. If I am my own boss, then the goofing off will have to become much less prevalent. Who knows, I may learn that by working for myself I have a fool for a boss but I'm very determined and curious to find out if that's the case.

COTD - 8 of Cups/Music (Hudes & Blake)

2011-05-18T02:16:00Z

When I first saw this card, I heard the lyric "Just walk away Renee" playing in my head. It occurred to me that the 8 of Cups shares a similar energy with the 4 of Cups in terms of feeling emotionally dissatisfied and unhappy with what is being offered to us. In the 8 of Cups we have now decided to prioritize things in our lives and walk away from that which is no longer emotionally satisfying and bringing us happiness rather than disappointment. This is a more active and assertive image. Instead of just crossing our arms and ignoring the offering, we leave it behind us. We have assessed and measured, organized and balanced our needs against those of others in our lives and now we have established new goals and plans for our emotional fulfillment. There is pain in walking away because it always hurts to leave behind people, places and things that we love. However we will always be able to hold them in our heart and our memories. If we want to continue exploring our potential and pursuing our dreams then we need to take this step and move forward. Otherwise we risk stagnating and living only in our memories and dreams rather than achieving them.

COTD - The Tower/Lightning R (Hudes & Blake)

2011-05-16T22:19:00Z

On a spiritual level this card reminds us that no matter how dark and hopeless things may seem, if we accept the truth and allow ourselves to face reality, we can free ourselves from whatever is holding us back. But that may also mean dropping things that we love in our lives. There may come a point where we need to leave behind these things, no matter how difficult it might be, in order to attain enlightenment and spiritual transformation. Much like the man trying to climb free, our spirit tries to work its way towards reconnecting with the divine energy in life. Lightning helps us see how this can be accomplished. It might not be easy, but if we are determined it can be achieved. It is an opportunity for a spiritual breakthrough, if we are willing to take the risk.

COTD - 9 of Cups/Lights (Fenestra & Dante)

2011-05-15T02:00:00Z

Ah, the "wish card"; when I drew this card this morning I could hear Elvis' voice singing a line from Love Me Tender "all my dreams fulfill". I smiled just thinking about it. This card just gives me a sense of emotional fulfillment and integration. The joy is part of the everyday and everything just becomes more special and meaningful.

The Dante LWB offers this meaning "The fixed stars: Happy union; harmony within the family, between friends, or within companies." Looking at this image, the figure hovering in the air above the constellations reminds me of some cosmic conductor. I get the sense that happiness and harmony is in the stars today.

I think that drawing this card created a self-fulfilling prophecy in my mind today. I expected to be happy and special and it was. It wasn't over the top or amazing, just a simple, joyful and fun day with friends. We drove to a workshop being offered by Rachel Pollack so we got to spend time with each other and see Rachel. All in all, quite a fun day.

Whether I primed myself to look for the happy, joyful and emotionally fulfilling today or whether it would have been a wonderful day even if I didn't draw this card, I can't be sure. Either way it was a fun day and the card just helped to highlight that.

COTD - The Tower R (Fenestra & Dante)

2011-05-13T20:42:00Z

In the Dante Tarot this card is renamed Virtue and it's meaning is given as "Breakdown of convictions. Sudden departure. Family problems." I guess Dante had a different view or definition of virtue than I do. Or perhaps it's just that I don't understand some of the subtleties to its definition that are no longer in use. Something about its imagery brings to mind false virtue or those who pretend to be virtuous to the outside world but inside are corrupt and venial. The Fenestra Tower card shows a more traditional image of figure falling from a shattered tower that has been struck by lightning.

I have often found in my experience of The Tower that I do often appreciate and value the results but I am unsettled by the flash of lightning and the destruction. Of course in my life I have also come to realize that unless I am forced to do so, I rarely make those kind of life changes voluntarily. Do any of us? I avoid dramatic changes in my life. I tend to be a fairly fixed person who prefers stability. I think this is because as a child I went through quite a bit of upheaval and it wasn't fun.

Of course this card is reversed so I'm taking this to mean that the traumatic and dramatic flash of insight is not going to occur today. Perhaps it is reflecting the inner shift that I've been slowly experiencing which hit full-tilt a few days ago. Now that I'm not quite so shaky and unsure about things, seeing this card allows me to review the aftermath with a clear heart and mind. Sometimes even the most positive and ultimately beneficial changes can be frightening and shattering. When the life-long perceptions we've held about ourselves are swept away, the new ground being revealed may seem bare at first but carries an almost frightening amount of potential for growth. Once the ground has been clear and the debris removed, now what? The possibilities may be endless and over-powering. In some ways it's like having a clean slate - what future do I want to create for myself? This is not something easily answered without a lot of thought going into it. At the same time I do not want to get caught up in the planning/over-intellectualizing loop that has characterized these types of situations in the past. I have to move forward and trust that everything will turn out the way it should and in the way that's best for me.

COTD - 9 of Swords/Flames R (Fenestra & Dante)

2011-05-13T01:27:00Z

The Dante Tarot 9 of Flames show several blue devils who seem to be bent on torturing and taunting souls and each other. Two devils are engaged in a struggle in which one is pulling the other's tongue. There is something both comic and somewhat scary about the cards. If this is what the devils do to each other what can they do to our souls? At the same time I can't help but chuckle at their antics. They look so silly that it's almost impossible to truly fear them. The meaning offered in the LWB is "Malebranche (Evil Claws): Risque secrets, illicit trafficking, abuse & corruption." Looking at these blue devils, I am struck by the realization that they are not as bad as I feared. The fear of their powers gives them even more power. And ultimately that is one of the key elements of this card. And I found this tidbit about the Malebranche online "the devils of the fifth ditch who bring to hell and torment the shades of corrupt political officials and employees". Oh how I wouldn't enjoy watching that particular torment.

The Fenestra Tarot image is similar to the traditional RWS imagery. It brings to mind nightmares, inner demons and other nighttime nasties. Of course we often find that there fears that torment us turn out to be only wisps and illusions once we face them head-on. Having drawn this card reversed today, I think that is what it's trying to tell me - I can put those inner demons and self-doubts to rest and move forward; it's all in the past now.

Yesterday I made a decision to pursue potential opportunities to teach at local communities colleges. This will allow me to actually put my two Masters degrees to good use, generate some income and still pursue establishing my Tarot business. This is something I've held off for as long as possible because I have doubted myself. Those inner critics can be quite vicious and effective at undermining one's self-confidence. But I think I have finally vanquished them and mow I can proceed forward in triumph and glory! Oh okay - I can proceed forward with only a minimal amount of fear and knee-quaking.

COTD - 4 of Cups/Poetry R (Hudes & Blake)

2011-05-11T14:00:00Z

The first thought that popped into my head when I saw the Hudes 4 of Cups is the song Gethsame from Jesus Christ Superstar "take this cup away from me." I can certainly sympathize with that feeling. Right now I am finishing up my tenure as president of a professional organizational and I'm tired of it. I can't wait for my term to finish because lately it has become less enjoyable and more toxic. The negative emotions that flow beneath each meeting are wearing me down. And I don't like it.

The Blake 4 of Music offers "a sense of relaxation, play and shared feelings in this card for the bard entertaining his peers while the children do the same in their own way. This card can represent reflective nostalgia or "remembrance of things past". In the creative process this is when you relax into playfulness, whimsically experiment with improvisation or reminiscence about past experiences."

This card represents happy times and joyful memories. It almost easy to imagine the two children represent a memory of the bard's or are the actualization of one of his songs. This card shows both the joy and emotional satisfaction we feel when we are sharing our gifts with like-minded people and our memories of similar times in our childhood. This is a very different sense that the one I get in the Hudes 4 of Cups.

What I think both cards share is a sense of choice. I can choose to accept the cup or not. I can chose to play my own music and sing to my own song. I don't have to dance to anyone else's tune if I chose not to do so. Of course knowing this in my mind and feeling it in my heart are two different things. So perhaps what I need to focus on is trusting my heart to guide me in the right direction. I want to be more comfortable trusting my instincts and not over-intellectualizing everything. This is an internal process that only I can do. Just as no one can force me to dance to their tune, no one can force me to dance to my own either.

COTD - 10 of Swords/Science R (Hudes & Blake)

2011-05-11T03:37:00Z

At first when I drew this card I groaned in my head. Even reversed, the 10 of Swords is not the most pleasant card to see first thing in the morning. Ed Buryn offers the following interpretations for this card: "Spiritual victory in the face of material defeat. Feeling mentally or philosophically burned out." Looking at the image of three figures bound by serpents on the 10 of Science I get the sense of sacrifice or perhaps even retribution for something. What did these figures do to deserve suspension above a pit of flames. It reminds me a bit of the how Imhotep clings to the edge of the floor while hovering over a fiery pit full of spirits at the climax of Mummy 2. But Imhotep ultimately allows himself to fall into the pit; he stops struggling and gives up. That is not something I am willing to do right now. Then again perhaps that is why this card is reversed today.

The Hudes 10 of Swords shows a fairly traditional image of a figure being pierced by 10 swords. However no blood is visible. Is this person dead or merely getting some acupuncture to align his chi? Let's face it - sometimes things that look painful and frightening are ultimately healing, most types of dental works come to mind.

They key to interpreting this card for me today is that it's reversed which I am taking to mean that this describes a situation whose influence is passing away. I have survived this potential pain and difficulty and managed to move forward. There is still some hesitation and unsureness about what my decision will be and what step to take next, but the painful part of over. It's now a matter of making some practical plans, thinking, strategizing and communicating these plans to others. I've reached a pinnacle and now it's time to see what awaits on the other side.

COTD - Page of Pentacles/Angel of Painting R (Hudes & Blake)

2011-05-10T00:04:00Z

Interesting concepts are raised by the Angel of Painting. Ed Buryn offers two potential meanings that struck me - "doing one's work or process" and "the healing power of art". These both feel right to me at this point. One of the things I've been working on is trying to get to the bottom of where I want to focus my energies and how to derive some income from the things I really enjoy doing. This seems to be more difficult than I anticipated. On some level there is a part of me that feels as though my "art" shouldn't be prostituted for commercial gain and another part things I just don't have the right to offer my gift to others (who the hell am I to think I'm that talented or special). But there is another part of me that believes this is the right time to try this. Those negative thoughts are those nasty inner critics just pecking away at me.

Considering that the Page of Pentacles is sometimes considered the student card, I think this studious page is trying to tell me that I've studied long enough. It's time to put my money where my mouth is - or actually use all this knowledge and training I've been acquiring. I could easily fall into the long-term pursuit of higher education. As it is, I currently possess two Masters degrees (one of which I haven't applied to anything in years and the other of which may become pointless if I am able to get my home business started). I like learning and I love going to school. But at some point if I don't make sure of the knowledge and techniques I've learned, then what's the point? There is a sun rising (or is it setting? I'm going with rising) just beyond the Hudes Page of Pentacles and that reminds me that it's time for a new day.

So I think these cards are reminding me that I need to work on my process and trust in the healing power of my art. And I also need to takes the steps to manifest them in the real world rather than keeping them all inside; all to myself. It's time to unleash all this potential I've been storing and see where it might take me. Not heedlessly or willy-nilly but with some practical steps and plans in place.

Comparative Tarot Essay - Wheel of Change Tarot Empress

2011-05-08T19:13:00Z

Wheel of Change Tarot
created by Alexandra Gennetti
Published by Destiny Books, 1997

The Empress shows a heavily pregnant woman sitting on a piece of land in the middle of a river which splits around the island and reunites once passed. The woman wears a red dress and sits with her legs open, as though giving birth. Her breasts are exposed above her dress. She is adorned with a multitude of necklaces, gold earrings and a crown of red roses. She holds half an apple in each hand. Her right hand is holding the apple half in the air showing us the pentacle shape at its core. Between her feet sits a basket full of multi-colored eggs. Small white star-shaped flowers grow on the ground beneath her. Over her right should we see green hills and a tree bearing pink flowers. Over her left shoulder we see yellow hills and fields and a green tree bearing red fruit. Directly over the Empress' head we see an arch of stars with the Moon directly above her. The Moon seems to be bathed in blue and yellow beams emanating from the green & yellow hill directly behind the Empress.

The Book says: In the lives of women we can see five distinct phases: birth, the onset of menstruation, motherhood, menopause, and death. The Empress represents the middle of this pentad; she is the nurturing mother, who is the fertile and creative queen of the world. She is also the down-to-earth version of the cosmic World card, which also symbolizes the creative mother in the maiden-mother-crone triad of the Triple Goddess. In interpretation this card represents elemental creativity and the actualization of creation. It is birth and creativity in every realm of life. Thus it represents feminine creativity, symbolized by pregnancy and birth and by growing things: flowers, eggs, and an abundant harvest. The Empress is symbolized in every good meal and happy home; she is evident in artwork and music. When this card is a part of your reading it symbolizes love and joy in life, and in the process of creativity. It symbolizes the healthful nurturing we must put into our creative actions. It is a card of being with children and in mothering or nurturing them and the joy we feel in their independent creativity. It makes a good time to focus on projects that require creative solutions. Projects that are begun under the tutelage of the fertile Empress are likely to success, just as she bears fruit out of her own body.

Bee's Buzz: This Empress is the embodiment of fertility, fruitfulness, growth and the cycles of life. The green hills and pink tree speak to me of Spring and life just beginning to awaken while the yellow hills and fields suggest Autumn and the time of harvesting and preparing for the cold, dark times to come. The Empress reminds us that she rules over both these cycles. She nurtures us and supports us through the good times and the bad. Her breasts provide nourishment and her body is the source of new life and new growth. The Moon overhead reminds us of the connection many peoples see between the Moon and women. The eggs in her basket remind us of the potential for new life and the waters dividing around her reinforce its connection as the source of life on Earth. This card speaks of the bounty offered to us in our lives as well as reminding us that there are cycles that we all follow. And we are all connected to the Earth, the waters and the stars. She is the mother of us all. If we honor and embody these traits we will find the way to bring these energies into our own lives. To enhance our fruitfulness, prosperity, creativity and nurturing. This card is not just about nurturing others but about embracing and nurturing ourselves as well. When I see this card it reminds me of the wonder I feel when I look at mountains and lakes as I drive passed. I am awed by their beauty and majesty and feel the connection to Mother Earth. I want to honor her and allow myself to fall into her embrace, knowing that I am safe, protected and loved. As someone who has often lacked this type of nurturing in my life, I sometimes have difficulties connecting to this card. I do not see myself as an Empress (at least not in the traditional way of being a mother). But then I realize that this card is also about nurturing the creative energies of others and helping them to grow. It is about nurturing my own creative side and allowing myself to explore alternative outlets for this creative energy. The Empress is a reminder that there is a Great Mother in the Universe and that whether you see her as Mary, Queen of Heaven, as the Corn Mother, as the Lady or as Danu - call her what you will, she represents the same type of energy and nurturing support in our lives. The Empress is seen every day in the bounty of the Earth and the gifts she offers us. Everything and everyone around us is nourished by the Empress. And this makes it easier for me to connect with this card. It is not just physical motherhood but spiritual motherhood as well. Being able to offer our bountiful gifts to ourselves and others and being able to accept the gifts others offer to us.

Comparative Tarot Essay - Mansions of the Moon Tarot Empress

2011-05-08T19:01:00Z

Mansions of the Moon
ZADOK (dahogue@nctc.net)
Self-Published

The Empress shows a pre-Raphaelite image of a naked woman holding an apple in her left hand. She is dark-haired and wears a serious expression, as though pondering weighty matters. A fetus is suspending on the upper right hand side of the card. The image is framed by crescent moons. At the bottom of the card is a profusion of flowers, fruits and a butterfly.

The author says: Traditional fertility.

Bee's Buzz: This is Eve, the archetypal mother; the first female. She offers us life and fertility, abundance and fruitfulness. She also carries the potential for growth and expansion, for sensuality and creativity. The Empress is that part of us that enjoys feeling silk upon our skin and enjoys exploring the different textures, scents and tastes that surround us every day. She gifts us with the curiosity to explore new sensations and taste new things. Connecting to this card was a bit challenging to me because something about her expression is a bit distancing - as though she may have given us birth but doesn't care to be involved in raising us. She also doesn't strike me as the type that would enjoy soothing injuries and and helping with homework. She seems fruitful but not nurturing, fertile but not loving. She strikes me as being almost the stereotypical cold mother. She may have given birth to the child but doesn't possess the skills needed to nurture, love and raise that child. This Empress has probably sent quite a few adults to therapy.

Comparative Tarot Essay - Celtic WisdomTarot Empress

2011-05-08T18:57:00Z

Celtic Wisdom Tarot
Text by Caitlin Matthews, art by Olivia Raynor
Destiny Books, 1999 ISBN 0-89281-720-8

The Shaper (Empress) shows a basket overflowing with fruit sitting near a cornucopia with grains pouring out. They are both surrounded by a green branches bearing red Hawthorne berries. Looking over the basket and cornucopia is an image of Triple Mother, who was honored throughout the Celtic lands. She is surrounded by humans, animals and birds. Birds are traditionally the companions of the Celtic Goddess of Life and Death. Mortal and semimortal women also often take the shapes of birds. And rays of light shine forth from her head.

The Book says: The Shaper of Growth gives life to all that is. The Mother maintain the fertility of the land, the life of its animals and people, and were often venerated as the guardians of the land's sovereignty. They maintain their loving watch over all life, transmuting the Soul from death into life. The Mothers are the midwives of the Soul, nurturing it with qualities that enable it to respond to the good things of life. They also imbue the Soul with its instinct or mother-wit, the basic common sense by which we are protected and sustained.
Keywords: Abundance, wealth, fulfillment, reverence for the earth, motherhood, fertility, loving guardianship, value, house, health, harmony and wholeness, emotional growth.
Reversed: Infertility, poverty, delay in accomplishment, squandering of resources, laziness, inaction, emotionally immature, self-neglect.
Soul-Wisdom: The Shaper of Growth gives life to all that is. The Mothers are the midwives of the Soul, nurturing it with qualities that enable it to respond to the good things of life. They also imbue the Soul with its instinct of mother-wit, the basic common sense by which we are protected and sustained. What spiritual nurture is your Soul seeking now?

Bee's Buzz: This card represents the gifts we are offered from the Earth, the blessings we receive from friends and family and the bounty offered all around us. The Shaper is the source of all of these things. She is the one grants us her blessings and allows us to bloom and flower under her beneficent gaze. She not only offers us her blessings and her abundant gifts, but she reminds us that we need to share them will all things who share the Earth with us. Her gifts are not just for people, but for animals, plants and other inhabitants of the planet. By her nature she also symbolizes the cycles of life. As well as life, she helps the Soul pass into death. Along with abundance and prosperity, there are cycles of scarcity and want. But the Shaper reminds us the these times are a nature part of life's cycle. They don't indicate a loss of nurturance or caring. The Shaper's abundance and fruitfulness bring us her blessings and bounty. But if we hoard these things and don't share them with those around us, then we are denigrating her gifts. They are meant to be shared, enjoyed and appreciated; not hoarded and hidden so that others won't take them from us. If we hide these gifts from ourselves or from others, then we are not honoring the Shaper and don't truly understand her gifts. And if we don't use them, we risk losing them. And once again we are reminded that these gifts may not be of a physical nature. If we have creative gifts that we hide from the world, then we are not honoring our creative spirit - a writer who doesn't write (even if it is never published) is a sad thing indeed. Take time today to honor the gifts of the Shaper - both the physical and the spiritual ones.

Comparative Tarot Essay - Arcus Arcanum Tarot Empress

2011-05-08T18:49:00Z

In honor of Mother's Day, I'm posting some of the essays I wrote about The Empress when I was part of Comparative Tarot group.

The Empress
Arcus Arcanum Tarot
Created by Gunter Hager & Hansrudi Wascher
Published by AG Muller

The Empress shows a blonde haired woman seated beneath an oak tree in the middle of a rich, verdant meadow. She holds a radiant, glowing golden orb in her right hand and a bouquet of flowers in her left. A golden crown sits atop her head. Her gown is long and flowing in shades of gold and orange and decorated with flowers. Her royal red cloak flows down from her shoulders over her throne. Here expression seems both serene and wise. All around her the meadow is abloom with growth and life - fruits, flowers and grains are in
evidence. In the distance we see her castle, but it is obvious that the Empress is more at home and happier in the midst of her fields.

The LWB says: She represents security and care, also in the sense of maternal protection. This means: supply with vital things derived from the abundance and richness of nature, as well as the experience of human qualities (according to C.G. Jung's psychology, this is the serene, already experienced aspect of the "anima" shaped by the mother). Past efforts and ambitions lead to corresponding expectations of successes, which may be arranged for by a benevolent patroness who carries out the necessary measures.

Bee's Buzz: I really like this Empress card (which is unusual because I am not especially drawn to the Empress). To me she symbolizes feminine strength and power which is not based on traditional masculines concepts and paradigms of dominance and control. She sits outside the castle - so her influence and power stem from a different source. Even without her crown and royal clothes
you would feel this woman's strength and power. She exudes confidence and inner calm. Looking at her gives me a feeling of safety and security. She might not possess a sword, but this Empress gives the impression that she would be quite fierce in defense of those she loves. This woman's power does not stem from anyone else. She is not just the Emperor's wife but holds power in her own right. I can just hear strains of Chaka Khan's "I'm Every Woman" playing in my head every time I look at this card. And that is what the Empress represents - mothers and child-free women, working women and stay at home moms, married women and single woman - she is all of these things but most importantly she is true to herself. Good or bad, positive or negative, whatever this Empress is and whatever she embodies, she does it for her own reasons and her own purposes, not to suit someone else.

COTD - 5 of Cups/Lights (Fenestra & Dante)

2011-05-08T01:03:00Z

The number 5 represents that added something that brings the situation out of balance again. It represents the struggle and challenge of inner and outer growth. Cups are associated with emotions, love, pleasure in life; matters pertaining to the unconscious, intuition and the inner planes, and the element of water. This card often symbolizes the need to let go of our emotional connection to something that has passed out of our lives.

"Your feelings are in flux. Everything that seemed emotionally sure, now feels as though it's changing and shifting. You are adapting your emotional foundations. You may be sensing emotional uncertainly, discomfort or confusion. You may be feeling vulnerable. Your feelings and relationships are being challenged. Old feelings or relationships that weren't resolved in the past may be re-emerging for current resolution." - Gail Fairfield

Don't cry over spilt milk; don't get lost mourning the past; don't let what you've lost consume the rest of your life. All these statements and more could certainly be associated with this card. My initial response to these statements has often been "oh please, give me a break". After all, holding on to emotional issues from my past has been something of a hobby of mine. Sometimes I find it so difficult to focus on the positive things in life; the good that remains. As I grow older I realize the problems this can cause.

Sometimes it's possible to feel that holding onto those hurts makes us stronger. We vow that no one will hurt us like that again so we cling to the memories and the pain. In reality, I've found that all this does is embitter me to such a degree that I am unable to enjoy the blessings and positive things in my life. I don't want to live that way. I don't want to become so lost in the mourning and sadness that I don't see what is still sweet and enjoyable.

The image on the Dante 5 of Lights has a very different take on this card. The meaning offered in the LWB is "Heaven of the Sun; energy; well-being; healing; invention; discovery". Apparently this is more in line with Dante's world in his Divine Comedy. The suit of Lights describe the steps necessary to ascend into Heaven. By that definition, the 5 of Lights would represent a half-way point. Much work has been done but the journey is only half completed. The struggle to achieve paradise continues. Maybe at this point what is required of the human spirit is to begin letting go of the sadness, bitterness and emotional negativity that has been holding us back; preventing us from ascending. Instead of looking down or behind us at what is being left behind, we need to up forward and upwards to see what lies ahead. We need to celebrate the joys and happiness that remains in our life rather than mourning and bemoaning what has been lost.

So maybe today is a time to celebrate the blessings I have - my husband, my family, my wonderfully supportive friends and my Tarot tribe. They are what will help me move forward and ascend in my life.

COTD - 2 of Pentacles/Clouds (Fenestra & Dante)

2011-05-06T16:00:00Z

Twos symbolize formation, polarity and the coming together of opposites. Pentacles are associated with the material world, acquisitions of wealth and possessions, our connection to Earth and Nature, sensation, matters pertaining to the physical plane and the element of earth. Pentacles can also be connected with practicality, groundedness and being realistic.

"Affirming and nurturing a new form of financial or material security. Conserving and maintaining physical resources or physical energy. Saying "yes" to a new direction for home, career, money, resources or your physical body." - Gail Fairfield

Balance - ah what a wonderful thing. Looking at this card I realize that balance is not something I'm especially good at achieving in my life. I have a tendency to get overly involved in one thing to the detriment of other interests. There is my doll phase - which rather crowded out my Tarot time. Then I fell into a rabbit hole of bread baking and found myself on various quests for books and equipment. Then there was my aromatherapy phase - a wonderfully fragranced obsession but an obsession nonetheless.

Of course I never completely lose these interests, I simply downgrade them a bit. But that isn't exactly creating balance in my life. I also don't necessarily see the 2 of Pentacles as an overall life change, simply some practical, day-to-day changes that will make the day go smoother. And I've already heeded its advice.

I have a tendency to lose myself in the computer (I know aren't you just shocked). Today, instead of heading right for Facebook, I took some time to clean the house a bit. Now I feel much better about my house and not guilty about being on Facebook. This is a very good thing. So I am capable of learning new tricks. What a good old dog I am! ;D

COTD - Judgment R (Fenestra & Dante)

2011-05-06T00:36:00Z

Traditionally Judgment represents a time of returning to the light after experiencing the darkness. It is a card of rebirth, renewal and rejuvenation; of healing and transformation. It can also be seen as a wake-up call telling us that our perspective on life is about to change and wake us up to new ways of looking at things. It may represent experiencing natural growth and maturation; an old phase of your life ending because you are ready and mature enough to move forward. Things are maturing at their natural pace and now you are transitioning into a new phase of your life so it's time to celebrate.

"Negative: The things that are naturally growing and maturing are not to your advantage. You may feel like you want to slow things down or speed them up - the natural or normal progression of things is just not right for you. If you let things develop at their own pace and in their own style, you probably won't be pleased with the results.
Reversed: Your personal biological or psychological timing mechanisms are signalling a new phase in your life. You may be reaching puberty or getting gray hairs. You could be growing up on an emotional level. You're recognizing that you're experiencing a personal rite of passage." - Gail Fairfield

In many ways, drawing Judgment reversed today seems to be an affirmation of the inner shifts and changes I've been sensing within myself. I always feel very jazzed and revitalized after attending Readers Studio. And I often end up making promises to myself that I do not keep, rather like New Year's resolutions. But this year something has changed. Something new is in the air for me. I feel more focused and determined. I want to be successful in my Tarot business. I had one of those epiphany moments at RS 2011. I was sitting there in a room filled with Tarot professionals and realized that I did belong there. I wasn't there under false pretenses. I had worked hard to earn my place in this talented group of people. Now I want to make it clear that at no time has anyone at Readers Studio or any other Tarot event I've attended ever made me feel less than welcome. It was an internal blockage left over from my childhood - I never truly felt like part of the gang. I was always different, the oddball, and I had no idea why. I was simply being myself. I was incapable of trying to be someone else just to have friends.

So when I found myself in a room full of people who not only accepted me for myself but even celebrated my very uniqueness, it lit a spark inside me. I do have something to offer the world and now I need to actually manifest it. I've keep myself in darkness too long. It's time to bring my true self into the light and celebrate by dancing in the sun's radiant rays. Other readers will see different things than I do in the same cards and that's wonderful. It's an expansion of my world view not a negation of it.

So it's time to stop passing judgment on myself as unworthy. I am worthy and the best way to accept and celebrate this is by getting my behind in gear and putting the word out there. This is my personal rite of passage and I think I'm going to have a party to celebrate!!

COTD - High Priestess/Destiny R (Hudes & Blake)

2011-05-04T23:21:00Z

The High Priestess represents our connection to our lunar nature and trusting our instincts, subconscious influences that are hidden beneath the surface. She suggests a need to pay attention to subtleties. But it also indicates a need to connect with our inner wisdom and deep spiritual knowledge. This card is the 2nd Major Arcana card. Twos symbolize formation, polarity, balance, and the coming together of opposites. The High Priestess is the guardian of the veil, the guide through to the unseen world of intuition, inner wisdom and self-knowledge. She represents a woman's individual nature - apart from family responsibilities and expectations. The High Priestess is a card of intuition and listening to your inner voice.

"Negative: You're getting too much into your meditative world. You are too isolated and removed from others or form the material world.
Reversed: You are tuning in to the Universe on a private level. People may not even be aware that you're doing it. They may vaguely sense that you're not quite all "here" but they aren't sure why. You may not be meditating in an obvious way but you are finding a personal way of tuning in and becoming more aware of your spiritual wholeness." - Gail Fairfield

Boy, she is a tough one for me. The High Priestess and I have established a relationship of respectful distance. I keep my distance from her and she doesn't hit me in the head too hard. I think the issues I have with the High Priestess are connected to the issues I have with Cups. I just find it difficult to trust my intuition and don't want to explore my feelings. I have spent years developing this crusty outer layer so I'm not giving it up that easily. I also realize that part of my issues with Cups and the High Priestess have to do with strength and power. In my experience, someone who is more yin or passive tends to get trampled and taken advantage of. It was the dominant yang energy that ruled the day in my upbringing.

However as I look at the High Priestess and thing about that energy in my life, I realize that I have met a number of wonderful, wise and strong women who are calm, yin and powerful. They have manifested many wonderful things in their own lives and are generous enough to help and nurture others manifest wonderful things in theirs. These magical ladies have opened my eyes to a world that does not require dominance or aggressiveness. They have shown me that a quiet but firm answer is just as strong as a loud-voiced one. They are teaching me to be a bit gentler and softer. They have helped me appreciate the blessings of the High Priestess.

So this post is in honor of those wonderful, strong and High Priestess-y women I've been blessed with in my own life. Thank you and may your lives be full of blessings and joy.

COTD - The World/Union (Hudes & Blake)

2011-05-03T21:39:00Z

The World represents completeness, wholeness, reaching a point where you have achieved all that you desired, reaching the pinnacle of success, and having fully integrated all aspects of your personality and life. It can symbolize a sense of oneness with others or the world around you; fulfillment on spiritual and emotional levels; dancing through life, refusing to give in to despair or negativity. It may also represent finally realizing your meaning and purpose in life and being confident that you can achieve it.

"Positive: You are aware of your many options and you're keeping them all open. Your ability to be open to all the alternatives is your strength right now. Another good resources is your consciousness that things are not simple: they are complex. You are living in the midst of complexity and that's to your advantage at the moment.
Upright: Many possibilities are available to you, out there in the real world. It's up to you to experience the multiplicity and complexity of things and eventually make some choices. You are totally free to choose among multiple options." - Gail Fairfield

I love the image on the Blake Union card - the man bursting forth with an aura of brilliant and radiant light just speaks to me today. In addition to the fact that it's just a glorious day outside right now, I feel like I am embodying this energy in myself today. I feel ready to burst forth and emerge into a new life. And the hands on the Hudes World card give a sense of protection and shelter.

Looking at these images I was struck by the fact that this mirrors my experience at Readers Studio 2011. All my friends there offered support, advice and encouragement for me to really test my wings and fly as a Tarot reader. While I may be knowledgeable and able to interpret the cards, I've always felt insecure about my ability to read for others. Who am I to tell other people what their options are? Or who am I to set myself up as an advisor and counselor? Well the reality is that I'm me. I've studied for a long time and put in a lot of work and effort into reaching this point. As many other Tarot readers before me have noted, not all readers are going to appeal to all clients. It will take time but I will eventually carve my own niche. The love and support of my friends and future friends at Readers Studio have really helped me in making this decision and finally acting on it. I am a world class procrastinator but I think it's time to move forward - the world awaits!!

COTD - 7 of Cups/Music (Hudes & Blake)

2011-05-02T11:22:00Z

The number 7 in many cultures is a sacred number (think of the 7 chakras) and is the number of divine and earthly harmony, of fate and transformation. Water is associated with emotions, feelings, love, pleasure in life, matters pertaining to the unconscious, intuition and the inner planes, and the element of water. The 7 of Cups can often reflect illusory options and dreams. Sometimes these are genuine dreams which we can accomplish and choices we must make. But at other times it symbolizes being so distracted by the options offered that we are unable to focus on any one choice and so become lost in fantasy.

"You are experiencing variety and activity in your psychic work or in your dreams. The barriers are down between you and others so you may be feeling their emotions. You're exploring your most imaginative fantasies. You are probably expanding and exploring your intuitive abilities and finding new ways to use them. You could also be experimenting with several secret or private relationships." - Gail Fairfield

For some reason whenever I draw this card the lyric "so many men, so little time" always pops into my head. I am reminded of a kid in a candy store (yes, I am mixing my metaphors) who cannot decide from amongst all the tasty treats being offered. Of course the reality is that no matter how many tasty treats are proffered (whether they are men or candy - wait a minute is there a difference?), they are no all viable choices. Even if we could have some of everything being offered, we probably don't like everything. And even if we did like everything, would it be wise or healthy for us to actually try some of it all? I doubt it.

So I think my focus for today needs to be on weeding out some of the less realistic and helpful choices I have before me. I need to focus on those that bring joy to my heart and are not mere flights of fancy. For example, I might dream in my heart of hearts of being a supermodel but the reality is that ain't gonna happen. I do like Gail Fairfield's focus on psychic work and dreams. After spending 4 fabulous days among my Tarot tribe at Readers Studio I can definitely feel my intuitive abilities flowing (which is a good thing because I usually feel like a psychic dead zone).

The William Blake Tarot offers the following little quote "To me this World is all one continued Vision of Fancy or Imagination". This makes me wonder how I can use my own visions of fancy or imagination? At my core I will always require a touch of practicality and reality but that doesn't mean I should allow my imagination to soar. After all, without our hopes and dreams wouldn't life be boring and humdrum. I don't want to give up my flights of fancy, merely make sure they are a bit tethered to reality.

COTD - 10 of Wands R/Quest of Skill R (Gilded & Celtic Wisdom)

2011-04-26T08:26:00Z

10 is the number of perfection, completion and wholeness. It can mean something is over but not finished and about to begin again. Wands are associated with inspiration, energy, passion, feeling, enterprise, ambition, matters pertaining to the "spark of life", and the element of fire. Traditionally this card symbolizes a time of burdens being released and accepting our limitations.

"You realize that you need to make some choices about the ways you view yourself. You can decide to re-invest in the self-image that you've been affirming or you can take some risks with how you see yourself now and reach for a deeper sense of self-worth." - Gail Fairfield

"A need to backtrack. A project may need to be reorganized or reworked, or you may come to the recognition that your entire life's work needs to take a new direction or start new. The 10 of Wands reversed may also suggest a need to draw some personal boundaries to limit the amount of responsibility you are willing to take on. Evaluate which of your burdens serve personal goals, and which have been imposed by family and society. Successful perseverance and the motivational nature of the Wands cards favor inner-directed objectives." - Janina Renee

Reinvention and searching for a new way to view myself pretty much describe my current state of mind. I'm tired of feeling as though I'm carrying the burdens of the world on my shoulders (okay to be fair it's more like the burdens of my world but still). All those sticks, wands, rods, whatever are starting to get very heavy and I can feel my knees buckling under their weight. What can I do to get rid of these burdens, or at least put them down for a little while?

Looking at the Celtic Wisdom Quest of Skill card I see Mabon at the center, surrounded by a blackbird, stag, owl, eagle and salmon. All these creatures helped Culhwch on his quest to find the location of Mabon ap Modron who had been missing for longer than human memory. Mabon is in the fetal position and seems surrounded by something that resembles the birth sac.

Maybe at the core of this issue for me today is that I need to follow my own trail and get to the heart of who I really am and what I want to become. Maybe I'm in a fetal stage of my own right now. My current path is becoming too heavy and unmanageable so what can I do to lighten it. Or perhaps it's simply that my current path has reached its end. That particular journey is completed and now it's time to find a new path, a new source of inspiration, energy and creativity. Of course creativity has often been a challenge for me. I have never felt especially creative but maybe that's because I am limited in my own definition of creativity.

The need to re-invent and reorganize resonates with me right now. I think in order to find wholeness and completeness within myself I need to find a new spark. It's time to work with my limitations and boundaries and find new ways to express myself. I can't do it all, no matter how determined or stubborn I am. And maybe it's time to ask for some help with some of these burdens too. The reality is that others might be willing and able to help but don't realize it's needed. If I don't ask other to help with one or two of these burdens then it isn't fair to complain because I'm doing it all on my own. Hmm, many thoughts to ponder today.

COTD - Page of Pentacles/Woman of Knowledge (Gilded & Celtic Wisdom)

2011-04-25T08:03:00Z

Pages symbolize messengers, youth, innocence, opportunities for change, new possibilities, new growth, new experiences, acquisition of knowledge and expression of new emotions, risk-taking, grace, and art. Pentacles are associated with the material world, acquisitions of wealth and possessions, our connection to Earth and Nature, sensation, matters pertaining to the physical plane and the element of earth. Pentacles can also be connected with practicality, groundedness and being realistic. Sometimes this card is referred to as the "student" card.

"You are making a renewed commitment to a security base that seemed on the brink of stagnation; putting more physical energy, resources or money into potential risky projects that you have faith will work out. There is an awareness that re-investing in something that has passed its peak but have a sense of confidence that it's worth a try. You are taking some calculated risks with physical things that represent material security for you. You're going for the Olympics instead of settling for a "high school star"." - Gail Fairfield

As soon as I saw Airmid (Lady of Knowledge in the Celtic Wisdom Tarot), I had to smile. I have always felt a connection to this Irish healer Goddess. Her story is one of dedication and determination. After her father kills her brother, she buries his body and is surprised to see herbs growing from the grave. Each herb grows over the part of his body that they most effectively heal. When her father scatters the herbs all over, disrupting the pattern, Airmid dedicates herself to trying to remember their positions and use the herbs to heal members of her clan.

That kind of dedication and focus is something that would be very helpful in my life right now. All month, hell for the last several months, I've had a feeling of being scattered and out of focus. I can't figure out what to do with myself or with my life. Granted this is not necessarily something new but the situation is really bothering me now. Last night I started reading Barbara Sher's I Could Do Anything If I Only Knew What It Was. One of her exercises stopped me dead in my tracks. She suggests trying to recall the messages we got over the years, especially as children, from the adults in our life - i.e. parents, grandparents, teachers, etc. The goal is to determine what messages might be holding us back or keeping us in jobs that are unfulfilling or unsatisfying. As I worked on this exercise I realized that I didn't have any. I can only remember three messages that I got from the adults in my life. Mom just wanted me to not piss off my father. My father just wanted me to be smart and do well in school. My maternal grandmother just wanted me to not be like my father. Not a whole lot of career guidance in those messages.

On some level the adults in my life were supportive and encouraging but didn't provide a lot of guidance. They just all seemed to feel that if I did well in school I'd be able to do whatever I wanted. The problem is that other than a phase when I wanted to be Oscar Madison (of course the irony is that I really don't like watching most professional sports), I never really had the urge to be anything specific. I wanted to be a writer for a while but I don't know if that was a real dream but if so, it was knocked right out of me during my first college level English writing course.

Maybe like Airmid, I need to dig around in the dirt a bit to find the roots of this issue. I need to become determined and tenacious and start to re-learn things about myself that I've forgotten. If I want to heal this issue in my self then I need to focus on its cause. I have the tools but I need to learn how to apply them in a way that will be most beneficial to me. It's time to re-educate myself about myself.

Essays on The Fool - Celtic Wisdom Tarot

2011-04-02T00:08:00Z

In honor of April Fool's Day, I have decided to re-post some of my essays about The Fool from various decks. First up is The Soul from the Celtic Wisdom Tarot. Over the next few weeks and months, I will post my essays for each of the cards in the deck. I hope you find them interesting.

Celtic Wisdom Tarot
Text by Caitlin Matthews, art by Olivia Raynor
Destiny Books, 1999 ISBN 0-89281-720-8

The Soul (Fool) shows a young traveler sleeping on his side near a standing stone. A pale blue cosmic light pours from the young traveler through a hole in the center of the stone. On the other side we see the spirit of the young traveler going forth on a dream visit to see the immensities of the Celtic cosmos contained withing the cauldron which is etched above his head. A triple spiral hovering above the traveler's head is a symbol of his physical vitality, his vocational commitment and his intelligence: in Celtic bardic lore, these are the three essential receptors fo all inspirational wisdom.

The Book says: The Soul was understood to continue after death, passing into different shapes or life forms upon its tiurigini or "circuit of births". The Soul could enter into animal, plant, and elemental shapes, not just human ones.
Keywords: A new phase or fresh start, having vision or faith in oneself, opportunity, enthusiasm, playfulness, trust, a sense of protection.
Reversed: Halting or hesitation, unable to heed instincts, a bad decision, sloth irresponsibility, immaturity, carelessness.
Soul-Widsom: Having respect for our Soul's purpose may look like foolishness to other. The power and vision of our Soul can only empower us when we acknowledge and manifest them. What is calling you to seek wisdom now?

My turn: This card speaks of a mystical, new journey - perhaps to find our soul mission in life. It's about being willing to take that chance and tread an unfamiliar path. The traveler is sleeping in the middle of the forest and it that doesn't show a certain amount of faith, and foolishness, then I don't know what does. This card speaks of that part of us which transcends physical boundaries and yet which is still part of them. The traveler cannot learn his soul journey in his physical form - he must let his spirit go forth in search of the answer. To me The Soul is reminding us that we may need to be willing to leave behind the trappings of our mundane life and move forth unburdened to explore new areas and new experiences.

Thursday COTD - The Hanged Man (Bruegel & Blue Rose)

2011-03-18T07:39:00Z

The Hanged Man is the 12th Trump in the Major Arcana. The traditional meaning of this card is self-sacrifice for the greater good, faith in the integrity of one's actions, a period of waiting or transition and finding knowledge within. This card can represent the inner journey, psychism and meditations. It might be suggesting that it might be good to wait for a better time to make a move. Be patient and wait for the right opportunity or energies to manifest. Wait for external circumstances to be right. When the time is right, you'll know and be able to take full advantage of the situation.

"Positive: It's a good idea to wait for a better time in which to make your move. You know what you want to do. Now, just watch for the appropriate opportunity, energy, or situation to manifest. Then you can, and will, take action.
Upright: You're waiting for external circumstances to be right. When the right job, person, house, or situation comes along, you'll take action. You know that you'll recognize the cues and be ready to move as soon as you see them." - Gail Fairfield.

The Blue Rose Hanged Man seems quite at ease. I'm almost reminded of a Dr. Who episode or some other sci-fi/fantasy show where the quirky hero is able to move about upside down and seems quite comfortable and at ease about it. What this character often does is serve as a catalyst for some change within the other characters. These type of people in our lives often force us to reassess and re-evaluate our beliefs. They turn our world upside down as we realize that things are not as we previously thought. They cause uncertainty in our lives but can also open us up to new vistas.

For some reason the Bruegel Hanged Man reminds me of the type of person that used to sit atop flag poles in the 1920s - someone doing a crazy thing for his own reasons. He draws attention but may not necessarily explain himself to others. In fact I wouldn't be surprised if he threw whatever he holds in his hands at one of the watchers below. He seems completely comfortable in his current position but that doesn't mean he wouldn't like to make those below him less comfortable. He is biding his time and assessing his option before deciding what his next move will be.

Looking at the images on The Hanged Man I was struck by the simple concept of turning things on their head; changing your perspective on a situation. Yesterday I was in a funk, a black mood of all-encompassing proportions. There didn't seem to be any rhyme or reason for this mood but it was deep and dark. Today I woke up and felt much more positive and upbeat about things. Part of that is for a very practical reason - I have plans to hang out with friends this weekend and we are planning to go rock climbing. I'm pretty excited about this. Another part of it is that I just hate giving in to these moods. I might indulge myself for a time but ultimately these moods are useless. They ruin my day and upset my family.

Message for the Day (Animal & Gummi Bear)

2011-02-11T03:17:00Z

Situation - Justice R
Challenge - Temperance R

Justice is the 11th Major Arcana card. It represents balance, maintaining your equilibrium and having the courage to face the truth. It can also symbolize the need for rational well-thought-out decisions and the ability to be fair in the distribution of the wealth and to determine where resources should be allocated for the good of everyone. Justice usually represents a sense of fair-play, of balance and equality.

"Negative: Creating equilibrium, balance and fairness is a problem for your right now. If the pendulum has been swinging in one direction, the reverse swing may create some difficulties for you. You may be bending over backwards to be fair to others at some cost to yourself. Or, you may be pushing you luck - be aware of the back swing!
Reversed: You are creating a balance within your own life. If you've been very serious, may you're lightening up a bit. Or, if you've been very publicly active, maybe you're becoming more of a recluse. Your bodily processes could be seeking a state of equilibrium - they could be swinging from one extreme to anther. You're concerned with achieving some kind of psychological or internal balance in your life." - Gail Fairfield

Temperance traditionally symbolizes balance, moderation, discipline, self-control, harmony between the spiritual and material aspects, taking the middle path, spiritual healing, strengthening the spirit through moderate behavior, calm and serenity. Temperance represents a balance of mind and body, integration of energies; synthesizing opposite forces in your life; balancing alternatives to reach an equitable compromise; tempering one's appetites, moderation.

"Negative: You're blending things together that won't stay blended. You're trying to mix oil and water - or you're adding so much color to your paint palette that you're just getting mud color. It maybe that your creation is already completed and you're still trying to make it better. At the moment, you'd be better off to let well enough alone. It could also be that it's just not appropriate for you to be creative right now. Maybe you need to turn your attention to other areas of your life.
Reversed: You're blending part of yourself or your life together into a new form. YOU are your art form; your life is your canvass. You may also be blending or combining psychic or psychological elements into new forms." - Gail Fairfield

Once again - fascinating that I drew these cards today. For a variety of reasons (both health and weigh related), I have been toying with the idea of trying a low-carb, Atkins-style diet. I've always avoided this type of eating plan in the past because they've always seemed very unbalanced to me. Of course considering that for years my diet was fairly imbalanced in the other direction just makes this position a bit ridiculous. So I'm going to give it a try. I need to figure a way to make some dramatic changes in my life - health-wise as well as career-wise.

For too long I've let cravings for sweets rule my life. There was no moderation about this (hence Temperance reversed) and no balance or equilibrium. In fact I've been avoiding this truth for a long time (Justice reversed). And the weight loss is becoming a serious factor for health as well as cosmetic reasons. I'm tired of listening to myself. I really do need to rebalance my need for sweet treats with my need to be healthy and lower my blood sugars.

I think the significance of both these cards being Major Arcana cards is that they suggest this is a life path altering change. If I can make this change and stick with then it may alter some of the health issues I've been dealing with. I also think it's a reminder not to go too far overboard - at least initially. This is about making intelligent changes and sensible steps. It's not about diving into the deep end. It's about taking a careful and methodical approach so that I don't set myself up for disappointment or failure.

And of course these cards also remind me that the way I've been living lately is very imbalanced and throwing me off my game. Focusing so much of my energy on family issues is leaving me with little energy or interest in dealing with my own issues. Like the eagle on the Justice card - I need to be keen-eyed and use my clear-sight to make sure I'm moving in the right direction. And like the chameleon on the Temperance card, I need to learn how to integrate my various needs and responsibilities so that they create a balanced and healthy whole. And the Gummi Bear cards remind me that I still need to have fun with this. I need to appreciate the whimsical and silly side of life a bit more. Sometimes it's so easy to get bogged down by the negatives and seriousness of the problems we face. I need to still enjoy and celebrate the quirky moments in my life.

I need to use my judgment and rational size to make sure I'm making moderate choices and finding some balance and keep the equilibrium in my life. It might not be an easy task but it should prove fun.

Message for the Day (Animals Divine & Ator)

2011-02-10T03:59:00Z

Situation - 7 of Cups R
Challenge - The Lovers

The number 7 in many cultures is a sacred number (think of the 7 chakras) and is the number of divine and earthly harmony, of fate and transformation. Water is associated with emotions, feelings, love, pleasure in life, matters pertaining to the unconscious, intuition and the inner planes, and the element of water. The 7 of Cups can often reflect illusory options and dreams. Sometimes these are genuine dreams which we can accomplish and choices we must make. But at other times it symbolizes being so distracted by the options offered that we are unable to focus on any one choice and so become lost in fantasy.

"You are experiencing variety and activity in your psychic work or in your dreams. The barriers are down between you and others so you may be feeling their emotions. You're exploring your most imaginative fantasies. You are probably expanding and exploring your intuitive abilities and finding new ways to use them. You could also be experimenting with several secret or private relationships." - Gail Fairfield

Traditionally The Lovers, the 6th Major Arcana, represent choices, not only of a romantic nature but also of a life altering nature, and the coming together of opposites, polarities and opposition, the feminine and the masculine. It represents the principle of relatedness and choice. The Lovers is often seen to represent choices and paths we take in life. It can also symbolize romantic partnership and alliances.

"Upright: You are working together, in coalition with others, to accomplish some joint goal. You may not agree on anything else, but, for this purpose, you'll come together and work cooperatively.
Positive: Two or more forces in your life are working together in a constructive and productive relationship. People, ideas, or activities are cooperating in a coordinated manner. This interaction validates and supports you as well as the others involved because you are working jointly toward goals that you all value." - Gail Fairfield

How interesting that my situation is the 7 of Cups reversed which suggests to me that I am no longer focusing on illusory dreams or wishes. Instead I have dived deep and listened to my inner, intuitive side to focus on one specific choice. I have been able to swim away from those options that don't meet my emotional needs, my need to be happy in life. Looking at the dolphin on the Animals Divine card, I get a sense of playfulness and energy. Dolphins are known for being intelligent creatures and I get the sense that these two are swimming in the direction they know is best for them. They can help guide me in the right direction and help me make the right choice.

Of course the fact that The Lover can often refer to major life choices; choosing which path to take. It also symbolizes the blending of different aspects - male and female, yin and yang, positive and negative. In many ways we need to blends these two sides together because otherwise we risk becoming imbalanced or losing sight of our path because we are busy taking a side road. I also like that The Lovers can symbolize creating coalitions and working with others. I'm taking this as a positive sign that a new job is on the horizon. After all one of the keys to creating a positive work environment is being able to work cooperatively with others; to create consensus and make all participants feel their input is valued and valid.

I see both these cards referring to my current determination to change my attitude and approach to my job search. They seem to support my sense that I need to chase what I love to do and have faith that the money provided will be enough to meet my needs. I also get a sense from the dolphins that I need to remember the joy I felt when I first started working in non-profits - that sense that I was making a difference and doing my part to make the world a better place. I do still have a touch of that idealism, even if it has been shaded by a slightly more realistic, even cynical, knowledge about the reality of how charities operate. It doesn't change the fact that most do great work and serve a valuable and useful place in making the world a little better.

Message for the Day (Animals Divine & Ator)

2011-02-09T03:05:00Z

Situation: Judgment
Challenge: 7 of Pentacles

Traditionally Judgment represents a time of returning to the light after experiencing the darkness. It is a card of rebirth, renewal and rejuvenation; of healing and transformation. It can also be seen as a wake-up call telling us that our perspective on life is about to change and wake us up to new ways of looking at things. It may represent experiencing natural growth and maturation; an old phase of your life ending because you are ready and mature enough to move forward. Things are maturing at their natural pace and now you are transitioning into a new phase of your life so it's time to celebrate.

Positive: "You are experiencing the joy of having things mature at their natural pace. You know that you are moving into a new phase in your life and you're celebrating the transition. You can trust that this natural maturation process is working out well for you.
Upright: The events of your life are going through a phase change or maturing at their own pace. Your relationship (or your wine or your child) has grown and matured and is now moving into a new age. Things have progressed naturally and now you can symbolize or ritualize the passage into the new phase." - Gail Fairfield.

The number 7 in many cultures is a sacred number (think of the 7 chakras) and is the number of divine and earthly harmony, of fate and transformation. Pentacles are associated with the material world, acquisitions of wealth and possessions, our connection to Earth and Nature, sensation, matters pertaining to the physical plane and the element of earth. Pentacles can also be connected with practicality, groundedness and being realistic.

"You are experimenting with money, material resources, or your body in a variety of ways. You are experiencing the various opportunities that are available as a result of your physical or financial condition. You may be developing some variety in your work or trying out various approaches to money management or investment." - Gail Fairfield

Another day with a Tarot smack upside my head. Looking at these two cards I was struck by the fact that I drew Judgment as my situation. Judgment can represent the obvious - time to stop judging myself too harshly and being so judgmental about my situation and choices. However it also suggests that a natural transition phase has been reached. Maybe that is the more important message from this card - I have gone through all that dark, negative, self-castigating activities. And I'm starting to realize just how pointless that is and how it doesn't benefit me at all. That vicious, effective inner critic that often shreds apart my self-confidence is growing weaker. In the past I might have judged myself and found myself wanting but I'm tired of that. It's time to enter back into the light and free myself from this pointless exercise. It no longer serves me or anyone else in my life. It's time to move to a new place and celebrate the change. As much as I have resisted change in the past, now it is time to embrace it and appreciate the gifts it brings.

The 7 of Pentacles ties in with Judgment. Instead of looking at my life as a series of failures, it's time to look at my successes and accomplishments. I have a rather annoying tendency to pooh-pooh my achievements. Deep inside I have always suspected that if I can do something well, then it can't be that difficult. In my childhood I think I developed this trait as a defense mechanism. If I didn't brag about my achievements then they wouldn't make others envious or dislike me. The downside of this pattern is that I also never learned to truly appreciate my own skills, talents and accomplishments. Instead of shouting about my two masters degrees from whatever rooftops I could find, I downplay them. This is especially self-defeating when I go on job interviews. I need to find the balance between confidence and arrogance. I need to present my achievements and skills in the most positive light possible without crossing the line into arrogant bragging. I need to plan and strategize; to plan in advance how I will present myself and my talents. I need to push beyond my self-imposed limitations and boundaries and allow myself to harvest a more bountiful crop.

I have to change my own perceptions of me if I want anyone else to see me as a potential employee. I need to make them want me on their team because my skills, knowledge and experience make me an asset. And I have to change my mindset so that I accept this is true, not that I'm faking it just to get a job. It's amazing how that inner critic and the habits of a lifetime can undermine me in unexpected ways, or at least ways I hadn't really examined in the past. It's time to gather my resources, leave all that negative energy in the past and move forward into the light. I need to become like the giraffe - reaching for the best leaves at the top of the tree, rather than settling for what has fallen below. I deserve better.

The Doldrums Spread (Animals Divine & Ator)

2011-02-07T22:33:00Z

1. Milo (current mindset, what brought me to this place) - The Hermit
2. The Doldrums - Why am I stuck here? Why am I feeling this way? (crosses Milo) - The High Priestess R
3. Tock - What can help me escape? - Page of Pentacles
4. The Car - How can I move forward? - 3 of Pentacles

I've been in something of a funk lately and it hasn't been helped by the weather and the fact that I'm feeling trapped inside. It does tend to make one very antsy. I'm feeling like Milo, the protagonist in Norton Juster's book The Phantom Tollbooth. At one point during his adventures, Milo finds himself in The Doldrums, a place populated by the Lethargiums where thinking and laughter are not allowed. All they seem to do is loll around all day with no energy and no interest in doing anything except sucking the energy of any unknowing passerby. Milo is ultimately awoken to the impending danger by Tock - a watchdog who takes his responsibilities very seriously. So I decided to create a little spread to help me get a handle on the situation. I don't often create spreads (just never felt is was a talent I possessed) but this one worked fairly well for me.

Milo is the first card because this is the person at the center of the tale. He represents me (or whoever else might choose to use this spread) and my current attitudes and beliefs that brought me here. The Doldrums represents factors that impact my beliefs and attitudes that caused me to get stuck here. It's the "why" of the situation. Tock is the watchdog, that little voice inside our heads that alerts us to our dangers and is often the voice of reason telling us how to escape. I have often found that Tock represents that which we already know we should do but have been putting off. And finally The Car - the vehicle that will help pull us free and take us further along our journey.

When I saw the cards I drew for this spread I had to laugh. Sometimes it really tickles me when Tarot just hits me in the head with things. It tends to happen when I'm being especially stubborn or obtuse about something. Of course that happens rather more frequently than I'd like.

The Hermit seems to be telling me that my innate introverted nature and predilection for seeking answers might have contributed to my current state of stuckness. I've been in a period of self-imposed isolation and retreat. I think I needed this time to heal and regroup after being let go from my previous job. I realized the other day that it doesn't hurt anymore. I'll always feel a bit of regret and sadness that I'm no longer there simply because of what the agency meant in my life. However isn't the same place anymore. It's moving in a new direction and under new management and I disagree with both. So staying would have proven to be an exercise in futility anyway. Now it's like a tooth that has been gone long enough that you keep feeling for it but there is no more pain.

The High Priestess R crosses The Hermit and seems to be warning that while meditation and inner solitude can be useful, there is a danger of becoming stuck there. I think she also reminds me that in order to move forward I have to find a way to connect my intellectual needs to my spiritual ones. I need to find the path that will allow me to tap into my inner High Priestess and release that energy. I have realized that I would find it very unsatisfying to take a job simply to pay the bills. That is just not the way I want to live. However I also understand that I am not necessarily the type of person who expects to find spiritual fulfillment through work. What I hope to achieve is a blend - a job that will allow me to pay the bills and still feel some spiritual satisfaction, some sense that I'm making some small difference in the world.

The Page of Pentacles serves as Tock, my watchdog. I think what can help me escape is two-fold. Looking at the monkey on the Animals Divine Tarot I was struck by the fact that monkeys often engage in behavior that we find silly or funny. They don't worry about how they look to observers, they simple do what they feel like doing. And perhaps that is one of the keys to waking myself up from this funk. I think another key is to connect with more child-like and youthful energies. Of course that also ties in with the kind of job I'd love to find. I have always enjoy working with teens and young adults. Even when I don't understand I find that I learn something from them. So maybe this is a reminder that in my job searches, I need to keep my focus on this field. I need to re-connect with the field which has given me so much joy and fulfillment.

And finally for The Car I drew the 3 of Pentacles. This ties in beautifully to what I wrote yesterday. It's about focus and strength; targeting my efforts and not squandering my energy. I know what I want and what kind of work I want to do. What I need to do now in order to move forward is stop wasting my energy and efforts in pointless endeavors. Very simple and very profound (at least for me). Now all I need to do is create a game plan, a strategy that will allow me to manifest this in my life.

COTD - 3 of Pentacles (Animals Divine & Ator)

2011-02-06T02:05:00Z

The number 3 symbolizes the generative force, creative power, multiplicity, and forward movement. They are about planning and preparing, putting the details into place before beginning the work. Pentacles are associated with the material world, acquisitions of wealth and possessions, our connection to Earth and Nature, sensation, matters pertaining to the physical plane, the body, health and physical or sexual activities. Pentacles can also be connected with practicality, groundedness and being realistic. The 3 of Pentacles represent sharpening professional ability; successful effort using creative and practical skills; and new undertakings that bring material rewards.

"You are clearly articulating the nature of material and financial security that you want or don't want. You're defining the kinds of physical, financial, career or family stability that you want. You are making plans for creating that physical formation." - Gail Fairfield

The repressed power and strength of the tiger on the Animals Divine 3 of Pentacles is striking and beautiful. Looking at him, I get a sense of controlled energy waiting to burst forth should the need arise. The tiger does not waste his energy on silly tasks. He is focused and targeted and has learned how to use his skills and strength for his benefit. The Ator Tarot shows a very RWS-esque image. The stoneworker is looking upon what he has created so far while two other figures look on. Again there is a sense of skill and accomplishment. He seems proud of his work and wants the world to know.

So what do these two cards have to tell me today? I need to start being more focused and targeted in my efforts to find a job. I do possess the necessary skills but I need to make sure they are being presented to the right audience. After all why waste my time and theirs by applying for jobs which don't suit my skills and interests? There is no point in looking for a job simply to have a job. I'd prefer to find something which will satisfy me on multiple levels - financially, emotionally, spiritually and intellectually. I need a job that will challenge me and allow me to both use the skills I already have and learn new skills. I want to expand and enhance my horizons, not simply do the same old thing.

And now that I have considered this, I can be more targeted in my job search. Hopefully this will produce more fruitful results.

COTD - 9 of Cups (Animals Divine & Ator)

2011-02-05T00:40:00Z

The number nine is the number of the wisdom of the Moon. It is also a mathematically magical number - its square root is three and the sum of any number multiplied by nine equals nine when added together (e.g.. 9 x 8 = 72, 7 + 2 = 9). Nines also represent attainment, integration, completion and bringing things to an end. Nines are about the natural flow of things and things proceeding smoothly. Cups are associated with the element of water, with emotions, love, pleasure in life, matters pertaining to the unconscious, intuition and inner planes. It is about emotions flowing smoothly and moving forward, developing in a natural progression. Emotions rise easily to the surface and into our awareness. This card is often referred as the "wish card".

"You are really experiencing a flow of emotions. Everything you feel comes easily to the surface and into your awareness. You're relationships are moving and progressively developing. On the emotional plane, you are moving forward with a sense of purpose and direction." - Gail Fairfield

When I first saw this card appear my first thought was that today would be a happy, fulfilling day. That it would be a time to connect with friends and nurture relationships. And I did. I had a wonderful time with a friend for lunch. And it tied in very nicely with my message yesterday of appreciated the small joys in life. We caught up and spent a lot of time laughing. After being stuck indoors so long due to the weather, it really was a joy to get outside and see the world again. We had a great meal at a local barbecue joint (Big Dave's BBQ for anyone in the Goshen, NY area). And we spent a lot of time talking about health and family issues.

While we were together I got a call from a former co-worker. I didn't answer it (because I always think it's rude to ignore the person you're with for a phone call unless it's an emergency). When I spoke to my co-worker later that evening she was bubbling over with excitement because she was leaving the agency we both worked for at one time and had found a new job. It was the only job she had applied for and apparently a contact at the new job had pushed her resume through. I was happy for her, I know she was dissatisfied at my former employer's. But there was a part of me that was envious because she had barely looked for employment and landed this wonderful new job thanks to connections. It just didn't seem fair. And that jealousy tainted my happiness for her.

I have few illusions about myself and I'm very well aware that I can be petty and envious of other people's luck. However that is not how I want to spend my energy in life. So I had to consciously decide to let go of that jealousy and envy and allow myself to just experience happiness for her. I have to feel confident in the fact that soon I too will be celebrating a new job (I do believe, I do believe!!). Sometimes people serendipitously find things going their way because the stars are aligned just right. Sometimes, timing really is everything.

I am experiencing a flow of emotions right now. Some are positive and some are negative but that's okay because they will eventually flow on down the waters of my life and be replaced by new ones. That is what the salmon on the Animals Divine 9 of Cups tells me. There is a cycle to life and a time for things to occur and being focused and driven will help me find my joy and follow my bliss (to use a very overused expression). Someone else's happiness does not in anyway detract from my own. So I am determined to just be happy for all the happiness in the lives of my friends and loved ones.

COTD - 6 of Cups (Animal & Gummi Bear)

2011-02-04T01:31:00Z

Sixes symbolize the union of opposites, finding equilibrium, harmony in the face of constant change and being open to the energy flow of give and take in our lives. Sixes can also represent a feeling of success after overcoming obstacles or difficulties Cups are associated with the element of water, with emotions, love, pleasure in life, matters pertaining to the unconscious, intuition and inner planes. This card is often seen as representing viewing things through rose-colored glasses or with a sense of nostalgia. It can represent being in harmony with friends or family and enjoying everyday pleasures. Or it may refer to pleasant memories or learning from past experiences. It can also suggest being connected with your inner self and being able to balance past disillusionment.

"Your relationship is reaching a level of understanding that is more reliable and predictable. You are feeling more secure about your feelings, knowing that they won't be drastically changing. You know what to expect from yourself and others on an emotional level." - Gail Fairfield

The pelican on the Animal 6 of Cups is just adorable. He look so carefree and happy, dancing among the rubber ducks. There is an exuberance and joy to the image. Something that brings to mind the simple pleasures of childhood. It reminds us that in order to be open to joy and happiness, we have to be able to offer joy and happiness to others. Sometimes it is so easy to get stuck focusing on the negatives in life that we lose sight of the joy.

This card is sometimes considered to reflect nostalgia for childhood. As I grow older I realize that what I miss is not so much my childhood (which had some very horrific moments), I miss the ability to live every day to the fullest. I miss the opportunities to just hang out with friends and have fun. We had some responsibilities but were not yet burdened by bills and family obligations. Granted I do miss the 70s too but that's a topic for another post.

So what can the 6 of Cups offer me today? I think it's reminding me to cherish the memories I have and not to lose sight of the ability to makes more memories. I may not still keep in touch with many of the friends from my childhood but that is because our friendships were often based on geography - we became friends because we were in the same class or lived in the same neighborhood. As I've grown older and changed some of my viewpoints and attitudes, I've made a whole new world of friends. I still cherish my childhood friends but I also value and appreciate my newer friends. In fact one of the biggest reasons I enjoy attending various Tarot conferences and doll conventions is because I love re-connecting with my friends who share those interests. That is what the silly pelican dancing atop the water with the rubber ducks on the 6 of Cups is telling me.

So I'm going to focus my energies on finding way to enjoy and celebrate the little things in life - a beautiful, sunny day and having friends I can reach out to for support and encouragement. I'm going to dance in the water like the silly pelican and allow myself to re-connect with that child-like, youthful and simpler me. If nothing else, at least it will make life more pleasant.

COTD - The Hanged Man R (Animal & Gummi Bear)

2011-02-03T03:50:00Z

The Hanged Man is the 12th Trump in the Major Arcana. The traditional meaning of this card is self-sacrifice for the greater good, faith in the integrity of one's actions, a period of waiting or transition and finding knowledge within. This card can represent the inner journey, psychism and meditations. It might be suggesting that it might be good to wait for a better time to make a move. Be patient and wait for the right opportunity or energies to manifest. Wait for external circumstances to be right. When the time is right, you'll know and be able to take full advantage of the situation.

"Negative: You're waiting for the perfect time, person or circumstances. Your dream of that perfect time is a little unrealistic and if you keeping waiting for it, you may never act. Waiting for a "better opportunity" is inappropriate right now. Now more procrastinating!
Reversed: You're waiting for yourself to be ready. External circumstances may or may not be perfect but that doesn't matter. What matters is whether you're ready, inside, to take this step. When you're in the right frame of mind, or emotionally prepared, you'll take action." - Gail Fairfield

The image on the Animal Tarot is that of an opossum hanging by it's tale. It is cute in a creepy rodent sort of way. And the cartoonish Gummi Bear Hanged Man is just whimsical enough to bring a smile to my face. Of course the bottom line is not so much what they look like as what they say to me. That's not necessarily as easily determined.

My first reaction is that it's time for me to stop "playing 'possum" and staying in a state of suspended animation. I've spend the past two years taking a wait and see approach to things. I've let external forces and situations (especially the one with the mom-in-law) determine my life. That is not me. My normal approach to life is to grab it by the horns and wrestle it into submission. Or at least that's what I'd like to believe. Of course I'm finding that the more I stay in this state of suspended animation, the harder it is getting to move again. I might have been waiting for myself to be ready and motivate myself to move again, but I have to be careful not to become paralyzed by it.

I realized that this time has also been a healing time for me. An opportunity to get over the way I was terminated from my last job and prepare myself to move forward. In some ways it's as though I've been in a healing coma. I had to focus on internal issues and personal matters before I could connect to the external world. In some ways I guess I've been like a butterfly in a chrysalis. Now I'm starting to break free and it won't be easy but it is necessary.

I think I am ready to take this next step. In fact I think I have to take this next step because if I don't then I'll just start to stagnate. There is only so much navel gazing one can do and I guess I've reached my limit. It's time to getting ready for that push forward again. Time to wake myself up and shake myself loose. I think I'm up to the challenge but I have to make sure I have my mindset right. Things won't change overnight. This is just the start of a new journey.

COTD - Strength R (Animal & Gummi Bear)

2011-02-01T22:49:00Z

Strength is the 8th card in the Major Arcana. It symbolizes inner strength and fortitude; the ability to see things through no matter how difficult it becomes. It also represents the triumph of inner spirit and will over our more aggressive, instinctive impulses; out soul over our more animal nature if you will.

"Negative: You are experiencing a compulsive behavior or feeling that is not necessary. You may be responding to a situation in a particular, defensive manner because that's how you needed to respond in the past in order to survive. The current situation probably doesn't merit that intense, compulsive response. Your compulsions are habit patterns or addictions that are no longer beneficial to you.
Reversed: You are experiencing intense inner drives that compel you to act in a particular way. You are behaving in a way that seems illogical but is actually in tune with your own biological or emotional needs. You may be struggling for emotional survival in a situation that seems abusive or threatening to you.

Looking at the image on the Animal Tarot, a small bird perched inside a crocodile's open mouth, I have to admit I identify with the bird right now. I feel as though everything is going to come crashing in at any moment now. I'm tired of being strong. I'm tired of holding back and trying to be gentle and go with the flow. I want to rage, thrash, destroy. I want to have a full-fledged tantrum of epic proportions while I scream and shout "I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take it anymore!!!"

Between the weather, family situation and the economy I feel like life is just not letting up. Then I hear politicians tell me that we're all in it together and we have to be innovating and creative to make it through this crisis. It seems to me that big corporations were being creative and innovative when they got us into this mess. And politicians trying to convince me that they're hurting too just makes me suspicious and cynical.

I have no doubt I'll survive this. I've survived worse. It might not be pleasant or easy and it might take longer than I'd like but I'll make it through. The big question is who will I be at the other end? Will I be able to triumph over this adversity or will I become bitter and negative? Right now I'm honestly not sure. The bitterness and negativity is really coursing its way through my system right now. But that might also be temporary. Tomorrow I might feel very differently. Right now I just with the damn crocodile would snap its jaws shut and put me out of my misery.

As adorably cute as the white Gummi Bear is as it plays with the lion, right now I have no playfulness in me. I hope it will return and that I will be able to feel the whimsy and fun inherent in the Gummi Bear image. In fact I'm sure it will eventually. But right now it is buried beneath a deep, dark layer of darkness.

The Hermit R (All Hallows & Wormweird) What do you need to think through in order to move forward?

2010-10-19T03:11:00Z

The Hermit represents the inner search for self. It is the solitary quest many people experience when they are trying to gain insight into their life. It can also symbolize the need for guidance, wisdom and caution. I can symbolize temporarily withdrawing from others or from your normal environment in order to get some perspective on your situation. You already have all the knowledge and wisdom needed to understand what has been happening but not it's time to think things through before rejoining others. The Hermit is also the 9th card in the Major Arcana. 9 (1+8=9) is a mathematically magical number - its square root is three and the sum of any number multiplied by nine equals nine when added together (e.g.. 9 x 8 = 72, 7 + 2 = 9). Nines can represent struggle, attainment, having the end in sight, bringing things to an end, completion and conclusion. The Hermit is about seeking your inner self, the knowledge that will allow you to learn more about yourself and what you truly wish to achieve in your life.

"Reversed: You are withdrawing within yourself to think things through. You may be going through the motions of your everyday activities but, emotionally, you have withdrawn. You feel this is necessary in order for you to sort things out alone.
Negative: Separation from your regular activities and friends is a problem for you at this time. By removing yourself from others, you are depriving yourself of the perspective that they can give you. You really don't have enough information to figure things out alone" - Gail Fairfield.

The Wormweird Hermit sits there in all his skeletal glory with a bottle of absinthe at his side. He is alone, solitary but not necessarily lonely. He feels the need to explore absinthe's effects on his own without the influence of anyone else. The bottle of absinthe is bigger than the Hermit's head. And his top hat adds an element of whimsy and class at the same time. He seems like a decayed, ragged bon vivant who was willing to stride forth into the darkness that absinthe provides so that he could light the way for others and explore uncharted territory. I would bet that he had every intention of returning even after death to share what he learned with others. Or perhaps he planned to hoard it for himself but he would definitely let others know that he had learned something.

The pumpkin-head figure on the All Hallows Hermit reminds me of Jack Skellington - King of Halloween Town in Nightmare Before Christmas. Jack was willing to explore uncharted and unknown territory in his quest for knowledge and experience. He went beyond the borders of his own existence to see what was there and ultimately bring that knowledge back to his subjects.

In both cases the sense I get is that these figures were willing to put themselves at risk by entering the darkness in search of answers. I think that is the point. I need to look into the darkness within myself and find the answers I seek. The reality is that they are within me but I need to shine a little light on them. Due to its reversed nature, I think The Hermit is letting me know that I need to explore my internal world rather than an external one. I need to find the answers I seek and the only way to do that is to shine some light into those dark spaces inside myself that I prefer to avoid. It can be a scary and lonely experience but ultimately will allow me to find the answers I need so that I can move forward. Of course it's also interesting that this is a Major Arcana card which suggests that even accepting that I need to brighten up those dark spots is a step in the right direction and can lead to some major changes in my life. Right now, that sounds like a wonderful thing.

This card also ties in quite nicely with the message I received from the Page of Ghosts on Saturday. It reinforces the need to explore areas within myself that I've been avoiding or perhaps more accurately , letting lie dormant. Being in a bit of a period of hibernation means I've let quite a few things fall by the wayside. I guess it's time for that to stop.